If I thought myself under scrutiny now, wait until I had to command a grand household. “I understand how important it is to you to live your life free of restrictions. If I said yes, will I live with you next door or with your mother at the Alton ducal estates?”
He tilted his head and frowned. “Since you will be my wife, I expect you will live with me next door since it is my preferred residence. I often split my time between my ducal estate and here. My mother will give you some time, but I can guarantee that she will insist you live at Alton, at least for a while. She’s been after me for ages to marry so she can teach my duchess how to run such a vast household.”
It was as I feared. He was being pressed into marrying by his mother, and I was the convenient choice. The wound in my chest widened, and tears threatened to fall. I could always refuse his offer. My parents would disown me. They would put me out on the street, but I would have my dignity.
“You don’t have to answer now.” He disengaged his hand and brought his fingertip to the underside of my chin. With his other arm, he lifted me until my mouth was near his. Lashes lowering, he swept my lips with a gentle kiss.
The thrill far outweighed my foreboding. I didn’t need love for a relationship to be successful. My parents had been a love match, but it was rare among my peers. Alliances were more important in my circle. I looped my arm around his neck and allowed my lips to play under his dancing ones.
His hand on my back drifted to my side, and he curled me closer into his body. I followed his lead and tightened my arms, the need to be flush against his chest rising at an alarming clip. The books had been instructive, but they had gaps I needed Lord Kendrick to fill in. He dipped his tongue between my lips, and I glided my own along the silky length. The men in the books often kissed in the French fashion, and I felt the heady effects to the tip of my toes.
A discreet cough drew us apart. Colt stood on the path, his hands behind his back.
Cheeks burning at being caught in a compromising position, I released my grip on his neck. Lord Kendrick wouldn’t have asked for my hand if not for Colt.
“Sorry for the interruption. Your parents were worried. You have been gone for a time. Shall I give them the good news?” The words were polite, but there was a hint of sadness in his gaze that wasn’t there the last time I had seen him.
“She hasn’t givenmethe good news yet.” Lord Kendrick lifted me and shifted his hips until I sat next to him. I wanted to protest the move. To be held by him was a fantasy come true, and I drew strength from his strength. “I think we should leave. She needs time to answer,” Lord Kendrick said.
“I don’t need more time. The answer is yes. I’ll marry you.” If nothing else came of our union, I would have the material I needed for my book. “However, I have conditions. I wish to be published still, but I’ll do it on my own. I don’t wish for help from anyone. Well, I need help with the new scenes. Please ask your model friend if he will take part.”
He exhaled a long breath and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’m afraid I cannot deliver on my promise.”
Colt released a disapproving snort and turned his back. Not before I saw the flash of jealousy in his gaze. He’d been Lord Kendrick’s loyal secretary for a long time and spoke of him with great affection. After witnessing Lord Kendrick with Gavin, I had a new understanding of unorthodox passion.
This was the second time I had seen Colt look at the duke with longing. It was possible that Colt had developed romantic feelings for his employer. I couldn’t blame him one bit.
The duke made no promises of fidelity and given his nature, I might have to contend with him carrying on affairs. Misgivings crowded around in my mind, but there were more reasons to say yes than no. He encouraged my writing, which was a plus. Being with him was my driving reason. If I had to marry, I wanted aman who made my toes curl in my shoes. Lord Kendrick was that man. If Gavin refused, perhaps Colt was the man to recruit. A burst of sensation shot through my core and my nipples budded at the idea of seducing Colt. I had become a wanton, and I wasn’t even married yet.
“Your writing is your own. I promise not to interfere in your passion as long as you afford me the same courtesy. I can’t promise fidelity..” He looked me directly in the eye and waited for my answer.
His statement gave me pause, but it wasn’t a surprise. Either I was making a huge mistake or accepting the opportunity of a lifetime. As long as I guarded my heart, I would survive. “I will.”
Chapter Fourteen
Sir Colt Lawrence
I entered the library carrying the key to the cabinet in my hand. Lady Lillian entered after me, her ever-present briefcase in her arms. I had submitted the marriage announcement inThe Timesthe morning after their engagement. She’d been coming over every afternoon since. I had tea with her most days. Our conversations about writing were lively, and I enjoyed her company. “Do you wish for the same book as yesterday?” I asked, kneeling down to fit the key into the lock. She followed me as always, the soft fragrance of lilies clinging to her. I pulled out the leather-bound book, the spine thicker than some others, and tried to ignore her effect on my senses. It was hard enough having feelings for Lord Kendrick. To have them develop for Lady Lillian as well was dismaying.
“Yes, please. It is an excellent book. The detective is quite believable.” She accepted the book, a flush staining her cheeks. The subject was still risqué. I had read a few of them in my spare time. To devour books about men like me was comforting.
Unlike Lady Lillian, I wasn’t interested in being published under the cloak of darkness.
“Since you are getting married, do you think it is necessary to continue to read such deviant books? Soon, you will have experienced intimacies with your husband.” I was probablyturning green; I was so envious. Under the guise of relocking the cabinet, I tried to get my emotions under control. I liked Lady Lillian and wished to see her and Lord Kendrick happy.
