“I know this is overwhelming. It’s overwhelming for me and Rex.”
“You said he agreed to the affair?” I had to know the answer. Was my husband enamored of other men? Was that why our marriage lost its passion? I had thought it was age and familiarity. It might be something more.
He nodded slowly. “Hypothetically, yes. He would do nothing to jeopardize your marriage. I would have let the matter drop, except our conversation got sidetracked and, well, I think it could work.”
“This is a lot for me to absorb at this moment.” Would I ever look at my husband the same way again? I was still in shockover Flynn’s revelation. But I couldn’t really talk to Rex without admitting my own guilt in considering an affair with Flynn. “You have put me in an untenable situation.”
“I know.” He dragged his fingers through his dark hair, ruffling the ends. With his arresting brown eyes and broad build, he was very pleasing looking. He was also an avid rower with my husband, and I will admit to seeing him several times in his shirtsleeves, and what I saw was impressive.
“I’m just asking you to consider this. You and Rex need help by your own admission and I have long since desired both of you. With Mary gone, nothing is stopping me from following my passions. Therefore, it seems like the perfect solution.”
“Are you proposing this because you’re lonely, or do you truly desire me? Are you proposing this because you want to be with my husband and the only way to be with him is through me?” I had to know every detail for my own sanity.
He shook his head. “No, never. There’s not another person alive I’ve ever felt the same way I feel about you. Nor have I met anyone like Rex. I never considered myself a man who was interested in other men,” he said in almost a whisper before raising his voice again. “That night with Rex was unforgettable.”
“What you are proposing is very unconventional. What if it doesn’t work out? There will be a strain in our friendship, one we can never get back.”
He met my gaze directly. “I don’t want to pressure you. If you don’t agree to the affair, I will respect your decision, and we will never speak of it again.”
I tried to absorb his words. “This is all so overwhelming.”
“I know. All the talk of the past has dug up buried longings. We are consenting adults, and I see no reason to deny our mutual desires.” The confession had left him vulnerable to my censure. If he had made the proposition a month ago, I would have cut off my association with him, painful but true.
“You have had much heartache in the past few years, and I will admit I am also having a hard time not reliving the past,” I said. “I can’t give you an answer right now. This is all too new.”
It was cowardly of me because my body screamed yes. The cautionary side of me said no. This was a big step to take regardless of whether I lost his friendship.
“I am sure you will give me your answer when the time is right. If it is never right, then I will never bring up the subject again.”
“I need to get through the wedding before I can think of myself.” I had to forgo the audition, and emptiness loomed on the horizon. After the wedding, I would give him his answer. Anxiety rushed through me at the very thought I would have to commit to my word.
A sound from the hallway startled me, and I hopped to my feet, my behind hitting the table and nearly toppling the wineglass over. I stared at him, my fingers traveling to my lips. How was I to act normally when my insides were scorched with unexpected passion?
Anne’s voice was lifted in laughter, Nigel’s lower tones following. They would enter the drawing room at any moment.
“Before we are interrupted, I want to remind you that this proposal is not a lifetime commitment. Give me one night to convince you this is a good thing.”
My father had stressed the importance of fidelity to my husband, and the church reiterated it. Yet it wouldn’t truly be stepping out if Rex was involved. The two men together, pleasuring me, pleasuring themselves. My conversation with Olivia over luncheon had stuck with me. The music in my head began a lively tune reflecting the fluttering in my heart.
Rex and I had a traditional marriage and our coupling was traditional by my insistence. Oh, how I regretted that decision. In my defense, my father had hammered home the importanceof being a lady at all times. I sensed Flynn would bring out the physical side of me, and I wanted to say yes. I would have to have a discussion with Rex before I decided.
Yes or no, I needed some crucial answers. Our marriage depended on it.
Chapter Ten
