Chapter Nine
Lady Eleanor, Duchess of Smythington
“Yes.” I crossed my arms, my hands moving up and down on the silk sleeves of my dress, unable to look at him. I couldn’t believe I blurted out the truth like that. It was humiliating. “I have been overwhelmed and I, well, things are no longer as they were and I, well, I’m afraid Rex no longer desires me the way he used to. He barely touches me and, I am sorry. I shouldn’t be burdening you with my problems.”
Flynn sat forward in his chair. “I can assure you it is not the case. It takes no stretch of the imagination to realize you are having a hard time with all the changes in your life. He holds you in the highest regard, as do I.”
“From what you implied, you would willingly cheat on your friend if I was receptive.” The confusion left me in a wave, and fierce loyalty to Rex emerged. I couldn’t believe my ears when he said it.
His surprised expression dropped, and he began to laugh. “You mistook what I said. You said Olivia recommended an affair. I was asking if you had considered her advice. I wasn’t speaking about me specifically. You impliedyouhad been thinking about it.”
Mortification rushed through me. I settled my forehead on the glass windowpane. “I am sorry.”
“Have you been thinking about it?” The husky timbre of his voice cut through the quiet.
“It is a moot point. I couldn’t betray Rex by having an affair with you. Nor could I risk our friendship. I spoke out of turn. Pray forget we ever had this conversation.”
“I am afraid I can’t do that.” He stood and came to stand beside me, close but not touching me. “I would be lying if I said it never crossed my mind. I would never betray Rex by having an affair with you. Yet, from what I can discern, the two of you need help to get your marriage back on track.”
Truer words had not been spoken. “I have no idea where to start.”
“Perhaps you should consider a more unconventional approach.” He tilted his chin, caution in his eyes.
“I don’t know where to start.” I exhaled and glanced over at him. “Unlike you, neither Rex nor I are very adventurous and in many ways, we are polite strangers. We used to talk for hours. Now I barely know what to say other than to discuss the children. Once they are out of the home...” I trailed off, trying to keep my emotions in check. Lately, I had been feeling sorry for myself and no matter how many times I reminded myself that I had everything a woman could ask for, I couldn’t shake the sense that life was passing me by.
“I think I know a way to help you. You must trust me and give me your word that this will go no further than this room.”
Tension seemed to spark between us as I waited for him to continue.
“I trust you.” I had no other choice. My heart was racing from his proximity and the mortifying misunderstanding that led to my admission. I would take any advice he could give because I was at my wits end. My stomach churned with guilt, and the fire in my cheeks intensified. I met his gaze in the windowpane.
His intense regard locked with mine. “What I am about to propose is very unconventional, therefore I bid you keep an open mind.”
After a long moment, I nodded, growing more curious by the second. “I will try.” An affair between Flynn and I was out of the question. Or was it? The idea was planted in my mind, and I no longer found it appalling. It was madness for me to even agree to this, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.
With the time at hand, he seemed to hesitate before lifting my hand and squeezing. The connection I always felt with him sizzled up my arm and into my core. Places that hadn’t been alive for a long time seemed to spark, and I wanted to lean in and kiss him to see if what I remembered of his kisses still held true. With a deep breath, he said, “I propose the three of us have an affair. A ménage à trois if you will.”
“A ménage a trois?” I stared at him, unsure whether I’d heard him correctly. Surely not. My conversation with Olivia about Guy leaped to the forefront of my mind. My friend said she had an instinct, but she said nothing about Flynn being queer. He had to be if he wanted an affair with Rex. My husband. “Rex would never say yes.”
Or would he? I didn’t know him anymore. Anything was possible.
“Rex and I discussed it this morning. He is in agreement if you are.”
My entire world flipped upside down, and I clutched at his arm to steady myself. He put his arm around my waist and guided me to the settee, settling next to me. “Is he, is he...you said he never had an affair with another woman. You never said anything about another man.”
“Eleanor, calm yourself. Rex has never had an affair since marrying you.”
I folded into myself. My relief was short-lived as another thought occurred. “What about before we married?”
“Before you married, Rex was only with one person.” He sifted his fingers through his hair before settling his palm on the back of his neck. “One night at Oxford, well, we were both drunk, and I had to help him to bed. I kissed him and he kissed me back. After that night, we never spoke about it again.”
“After twenty years, you’re choosing to tell me now?” I had an inkling that more than a kiss had transpired between them, and it sent me into further panic. “Are you and Rex having an affair?”
Eyes wide in denial, he replied, “No, never. He respects you too much, and I respected Mary too much to do that to her. Now that she’s gone, I’ve realized how short life is, and how I want to grab on to things I used to be able to let go of.”
“You’ll forgive me if I am speechless right now. I never knew about your past with Rex other than your friendship. And I never told him about our, um, kisses and other liberties I allowed you by the garden fountain so many years ago. I was confused then, unsure whether my physical attraction to you was simply physical or we had a deeper connection. We are friends, and I love you Flynn. And, God forgive me, I do desire you.”
