“Of course you will attend your sister’s wedding. She will depend on her family for support.” Rex lowered his paper and stared at his son for a long moment. Our youngest often spoke quite bluntly, and while Anne was very much aware of everything happening around her, Harry lived in his own world. Much like Rex at times. The similarities were not lost on me. He often displayed a singular focus on whatever problem was brought to him until he came to a satisfying conclusion. Earlier, with the letter, was one of the rare times he zeroed in on my activities.
The one time I wished he hadn’t.
“You needn’t fear, you will only be required to sit in the pew while her vows are read.” Of all my children, I worried about him the most. He often spent hours at a time in the garden digging up worms. He said he wanted to be a scientist. With his birthright, he would always be a gentleman.
Offering a shrug of resignation, Harry picked up his toast and began to eat with his right hand. The fingers on his left hand drummed a steady rhythm on the tabletop. Rex and I took his quirks and behavior in stride. Others thought himodd. My hackles rose every time I heard the whispers following him, hence my fear of him attending boarding school. My one consolation was that Atticus was attending his second year at Oxford University, the campus less than two miles away from Knutchester, and he would be able to check in on his brother if the need arose. Not only would the house be empty without my children.
The mantel clock chimed the hour, and Harry stood abruptly, jogging my darkened thoughts. He shoved the rest of the toast into his mouth, his cheeks bulging.
“What are you doing, son?” Rex asked with a curious glance at Harry. After my tumultuous childhood, I was relieved my husband was a gentle man who never raised his voice to the children and treated everyone with respect. It was one of the things I loved about him. Unlike my father who ran the household with an iron fist, striking down anyone who dared disobey him, Rex’s elevated status commanded obedience. He never demanded it.
“I am going fishing,” Harry said, bits of crumbs spraying from his mouth.
I stifled a laugh despite the disgusting action. My place at the conservatory might be lost, but I still had my family.
Rex shook his head, exasperation twisting his lips. “Do not speak with your mouth full.”
Nodding, Harry lifted the teacup and drained it, swallowing with a loud gulp. Once he was done, he placed the cup back down. “I have some fresh worms and I want to see if the fish like the older ones or the newer ones.”
“I see,” I said. “Have you thought no matter when the worms were dug up, and as long as they were alive, they’d be no fresher.” I liked to challenge Harry with wordplay. He was sharp and very thoughtful. Like his father.
He twisted his mouth and tilted his head, clearly giving this some thought. “That is why I am experimenting.”
“I suspect he can answer your question logically once he finishes his experiment,” Rex said.
“I will.” Harry didn’t wait to be excused. He left before I could reply.
The light in Rex’s gaze drew me in, and I wished I could turn the clock back twenty years. What Olivia had suggested was bold, and the confidence I carried because of it was dashed, along with my hopes. My husband was the one constant in my life. Perhaps I could ease into the seduction instead. Once things in Parliament died down and Rex had more free time, I would suggest another encounter outside in the garden. It had been memorable, and I had been close to reaching that unattainable bit of heaven that always seemed to elude me during our intimate moments.
“Eleanor?” Rex called my name.
I snapped my head up, praying my fair skin wouldn’t give away my illicit thoughts. “I am sorry, my mind was elsewhere.”
“I must leave for the day.” With a pat on my shoulder, he left the room.
There I had been fantasizing about being intimate with my husband, and he patted me on the shoulder. It was worse than being kissed on the forehead. Disenchantment continued to be the theme of the morning for me. Once again, I was alone with nobody except the servants for company.
Tears pushing at the back of my eyes, I stood and rushed from the room. I had a hundred things to do, but my heart was no longer in it. My dreams of attending the conservatory had diminished once again, and the platonic state of my marriage added to my upset. I entered the music room with a heavy heart and retrieved my violin. As I sat down in my favorite chair, Ilifted the bow and began to play. Alone again, I would play for a party of one.
Myself.
Chapter Seven
Lord Rex, Duke of Smythington
