“Are you her birth mother?” Hallie asked, the words faint and murky, like she was speaking underwater.
Alice gripped the coffee cup like a life line as the world tunneled in on her. Panic hit and she yearned to be anywhere but where she was, admitting the truth. She drank the hot liquid, feeling the burn of more than the coffee. “I’m not one-hundred percent certain. My grandmother made the blanket for me when I was born and the hospital wrapped her in it per my request. I assumed they threw it away. I mean, I… I never told her any of this. I swear, I didn’t, it’s not my place, I—”
“I know.” Hallie shifted her cup to her other hand and stared into the steaming brew. “Chloe is pretty astute. She had to grow up faster than most children her age. She told me about your handkerchief and pretty much confirmed what Niko said. Can I see it? The handkerchief.”
Alice pulled the rumpled material from her pocket and handed it to Hallie. “It’s not in the best of shape. I’ve been using it a lot lately.” Every hour of every day. Sometimes, she didn’t know how she had any tears left to shed.
“Chloe holds that blanket when she’s sick and strokes the threads. When we told her she was adopted, she had some questions but more so of late.” Hallie pressed out the corner and traced the design with her own finger. A single tear fell onto the back of her hand and she raised shimmering eyes to Alice. They stared at each other for a long moment, neither moving a muscle. “She loves that blanket because she believes her guardian angel gave it to her.”
“I’m no angel and I never meant for any of you to find out. Including Chloe. Not unless she wanted to find me at some point. Lance, her…the guy… he insisted on sealing the documents and he hasn’t changed his mind. You needn’t worry about him, ever. And if Chloe asks…well, it’s not my place to judge him…she’ll make her own decisions.”
Hallie handed the handkerchief back to her. “Chloe’s been in the hospital for the past six days getting prepped for the transfusion. The procedure is targeted for the fifth, but then, you already know that.”
Her words slammed into Alice like a ton of bricks. She hadn’t been given the exact date yet because the doctor said it could sometimes take the patient weeks of chemotherapy to be ready for the transfusion. She glanced down at her hands, trying to process the information without giving away her suspicions. “No, I didn’t, I mean, I wasn’t sure. They take the donations one to two days ahead of the procedure and I…”
“She wants you to be a part of her life,” Hallie blurted out, color rising in her once-pale cheeks.
Alice’s chest expanded, joy radiating into her entire being until the ice water of reality doused it a heartbeat later. Alice met the other woman’s eyes and swallowed. “Do you want me to be a part of her life? Because I gave up that right a long time ago. It’s your decision.”
“Yes, Chloe can always use her guardian angel.” Hallie leaned forward, and held out both of her hands, palms up.
Alice slipped her own into them and squeezed. The fact that Chloe wanted to see her again was the best possible news. What about Niko? Could he ever find it in his heart to forgive her?
Chapter Fifty-Five
Niko’s head thumped against the wall, stirring him out of a dead sleep. He twisted his stiff neck and glanced over at Chloe lying in the hospital bed, eyes closed, breathing steady. She’d finished receiving the treatment two days before, and he’d remained with her for ever second. He placed his head in his hands and tried to keep the raw emotion in check. This was supposed to be a happy time. Chloe had a chance to live because of Alice.
He flexed his fingers. How could you love and hate somebody at the same time.
No, not hate. Disappointment.
She’d disappointed him by not trusting him enough to tell him the truth. And what if she had? Would he have sent her away as he had on Christmas Day?
He’d allowed his gut reaction to dictate his response. She had lied to him. There was no getting around that fact, no matter her reasons.
Chloe mumbled and turned her head, squinting, a sleepy smile tugged at her lips.
“Hey, kiddo. Still feeling like a pin cushion?” He adjusted the mask and clasped her hand, careful not to dislodge the tubes.
“Yep. Is it still working?” she asked, closing her eyes and licking dry lips. “Am I still okay?”
“So far, so good. You have a lot of people making sure you get the best care possible.” Although she couldn’t see his mouth, he made a point to pretend to smile. An upbeat attitude was important to her recovery. He picked up the cup with ice chips and fed her a few. The transplant was not without risks. There was a slight possibility that her body would reject the treatment, or she’d suffer long-term complications, such as sterility. Hallie had been miserable once she’d learned she could never have children. He prayed Chloe wouldn’t face the same challenge.
The door opened and Hallie entered the special air-filtered room, a mask over her mouth. “How is she doing?”
“She was awake a second ago. Did you get some sleep?” He ran a hand along his sore neck, the aftereffects of sleeping in an upright position, and stood. Not that he’d have slept any better in his bed at home. After his fight with Alice, he avoided it most nights, preferring to work in the kitchen until dawn. Even his kitchen carried her ghost but making his candies helped soothe his mind.
“Yes, I did, and I took a long, hot bath.” She moved to the chair he’d vacated and removed a book from her purse. “And now I’m going to read a book for the first time in forever.”
“I think I’ll go grab some coffee. Want one?”
“No, I’m coffee’d out. You’ve been here all night. Go home and get some sleep in a real bed, that’s an order. The doctor said the only thing we can do now is wait for her body to heal itself. Mom is taking the afternoon shift and Dad is doing graveyard.”
With the state his body was in, it would be torture for his elderly dad. “Dad can’t sleep in a chair. I’ll do graveyard.”
“You do realize there is a bench over there that folds out into a bed?” she said, pointing to the corner of the room by the window.
He studied the bench and offered a sheepish grin. “No, I didn’t know that. It looked rather shallow. I was afraid I’d roll over and fall off.”
