Her eyes are heavy and her plate is empty.
Standing, I tell her, “You should rest.”
She agrees as I help her out of her chair, but says, “I am so tired of being tired.”
“It’ll pass,” Shock says.
She believes him.
I do too, even though I know he hasn’t actually seen that in her future.
She leans on me more heavily than I think she needs to, but I don’t want to let her go, so I let her. And when we reach my bedroom, I walk her all the way to the bed, but she doesn’t sit down like I expect her to.
She worries her lower lip and piercings and looks up at me. Her thoughts are clear and sure, and I nod, because she needs to speak them.
I turn her around to face the others.
Even though I know what she’s about to say, I need them to hear her say it.
“I’m tired, but I know I won’t be able to sleep…” She chuckles and looks aside, not embarrassed, just remembering. “Meditate, medicate, or masturbate… Those are the three things that will get me to sleep, and I’m too anxious for the first. I don’t think I’ll trust the second. And the third…”
Looking up at each of us in turn, she bites her lip before she admits, “I can’t get off without visual stimulation or someoneelse involved. And since I have no idea how to find ethical porn here, well…” She looks at Shock. “You told me to be rude.”
He exhales slowly, as if he needs to get all the air out of his lungs.
“Will you help me?” Her gaze travels from him to Risk to me. She means all of us.
“Of course,” Risk says, but we don’t move.
And one thought—so clear it echoes in my mind like a reverberation chamber—breaks through the cluttered jumble of all three of their thoughts.
Unless one of them kisses me, right now, I might scream.
Hand locked around her wrist, I turn her away from Risk and her eyes go wide as I drag her against me. “We want to hear you scream, koah, but in pleasure, not frustration. Ask me for what you want, right now.”
“Kiss me.” It’s a demand, not a question, but it’s all I need to hear.
Hand cupping her face, I tilt her chin in just the right way, and when I kiss her, I hear nothing.
Nothing from her anyway. The other two… I try to block them out even if their thoughts echo my own.
Her blank thoughts don’t last more than a moment.
YesandPleaseand…Thank you.
But she’s not thanking me. She’s not thanking the saints. She’s thanking the universe… for putting her here.
I hold her more tightly and her hands fist in my shirt.
I don’t ever want to let her go.
But something deep inside Riskachesat the sight of us, and I draw back from her, turning her to him and whispering softly, “I think Risk deserves his turn, doesn’t he?”
Shock watches from where he’s leaned against the wall. He’s in pain, but we can take care of that.
I go to him, leaning on the wall beside him, and he looks at me with one brow raised.
I point at the floor in front of me. “Come here.”
