Jenna smirked.“Sounds like my man.”She picked up the mug and took another long drink.She rested it on her chest before turning back to me.“What aren’t you telling me?”
Jenna might be anxious from time to time, but she had a huge well of empathy and an intuitiveness that helped her create special, personalized guitars for each of her clients.
I grimaced because I didn’t like her turning her abilities toward me.
“Mama?”she prodded.
I sighed as I scooched down on the couch cushion.Still, if I couldn’t talk to my family, who would I tell?“Perhaps more than the kids, all of whom I love?—”
“Which they know, I know—everyone knows,” Jenna said.
I shot her a terse glare because she was going to pick at this like a buzzard at a carcass.
“Fine.I wanted another love.A genuine love, not just a…a…”
“An adultering shit bag who felt bigger by taking swipes at a teenaged boy who was already so much more of a man than he’d ever be?”
“Well, that would be a description of Laurence.”I smiled at Jenna, and she smiled back.
Now that we’d started the conversation, I found it easier.“Yes, I want—wanted—a lover.Partner.Someone to share my life with…” I shook my head.“That wasn’t in my cards once Jensen died.”
“Why can’t it be now?”Jenna asked.She perked up, a glint forming in her eye.Oh,hell.She was going to make me her purpose.That wouldn’t do.Not at all.
I wagged a finger.“Stop it right there, young lady.I told you because you deserved the truth.But I am too old for?—”
“If you say ‘love’, I’m going to guzzle your hot chocolate,” Jenna threatened.
I gasped as I clutched my mug with both hands out of her reach.“You’re a real stinker.”
Jenna shrugged, but she also laughed.It was short, over almost before it began, but, oh, how that sound brought me joy.
“You wouldn’t be the first one to call me that.”She raised an eyebrow.“Now, about that lover…”
I shook my head as I rose from the couch, still holding my mug.“No, ma’am.I’m not getting into this with you.”
“Who else should you talk to but your daughter-in-law?I’m family, and safe, but not actually related, so I won’t gross out like Cam or even Kate.Though I know your daughter would like you to have someone in your life.Same goes for Cam and me.We want you to be happy.Fulfilled.”
Jenna seemed to mull over some previous conversation with my daughter.
“My love life ismine.”
“Maybe if you had one…” Jenna raised an eyebrow.
“Just because I’m discreet doesn’t mean…”
“Mama, you have met no one in the years I’ve known Cam.”
“That’s because I’m not interested in…in…anaffair.”My words were prim, silly.I grimaced.“Anyway, my interactions are between me and that one other person.”
“Well, thanks to Cam’s fame, his fans and the media believe my love life is the world’s to pluck apart.So, I really wouldn’t know what you’re talking about.”
I pressed my lips together as I settled back beside her.“You, my darling girl, don’t play fair.”
She held my gaze, hers steady, the shadows deep—too deep for someone her age.“Lifeisn’t fair, as we both know.But I get what you’re telling me.I really do.I’m married to a wonderful man.We have plenty of money, so we have lots of opportunities.We have a healthy child, but that doesn’t mean life’s perfect.”
Tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked them back with a ruthlessness I respected and worried over.She wanted to move on, and she would, but grief took time—needed the space for healing.“I always wanted a few kids, you know?Cash is a pleasure, but he’s so wild, not interested in hugs, and I just want more snuggles, more love…”
She turned away, her jaw clamped tight.“My body betrayed me.”
