Chapter12
Steve
Irose at five a.m., just as I had every morning for the last three decades.But this morning, energy zipped through my limbs, boosting my energy through my short, six-mile run before I lifted some weights and showered, all while fantasizing about Jasmine’s mouth.In the shower, I let my imagination run wild with her lips wrapped around my dick, her big eyes challenging me to give it to hergood.I wrapped my hand around my aching erection and jerked off.
Her tongue would swirl around me while she hollowed her cheeks.She’d palm my sac and…
I gasped, knees buckling as my release reverberated through my body, and I slammed my free hand against the slick tiles.I needed a minute to catch my breath…and clear my head.
“That wasintense.”
And fast.Hell.I hadn’t come that quick or that hard since my early twenties.But Jasmine made me feel young—carefree.I liked the foreign feeling.
I finished my shower and dressed in a pair of old jeans and a T-shirt, then headed to Nash and Aya’s house.They’d arrived home a couple of nights ago.I’d avoided seeing them, but my desire for a life with Jasmine outweighed my fears—even those of telling my son I wanted a relationship with the woman he loved like a mother.
By falling for Jasmine Grace, I’d complicated our world.A lot.But I couldn’t—wouldn’t—change it.I’d loved Nash’s mother all those years ago.I loved Jasmine now.Hopefully, Nash could accept that.
I let myself in the back door with the key Nash had given me, surprised to find Nash and Levi at the kitchen table.
Nash had on a pair of pajama pants and a faded, nearly threadbare T-shirt that used to be green.I smiled as I realized that was the shirt Aya had given him before his first performance with Cam.
So much had happened since then, and the two of them were still each other’s pillars of strength.
Levi sat in his highchair, smearing yogurt around his tray and all over his adorable onesie covered in tiny brown bears.He squealed when he saw me, kicking those tiny feet and showing off his deep dimples.This boy was going to be as much of a heart throb as his father.
Nash glanced up at me with bloodshot eyes.Okay, so at this moment he wasn’t looking like cover-model perfect.
“Little dude’s teething, Aya thinks.About midnight, he decided sleep was for pus—er, wimps.”
Nash made it a point not to cuss in front of his son, so the slipup told me how tired he was.
“Well, Levi is not well-informed about this subject.The little dude hasn’t lived long enough to understand the joys of sleep.”
“Doesn’t seem to matter,” Nash muttered.“Aya insisted on getting up with him, but I couldn’t sleep knowing she was so exhausted.”
I hesitated, staring first at Nash, who needed some sleep himself, to my grandson, who shot me a gimlet eye as he raised his yogurt-covered hands and ran them through his hair.
Nash groaned, dropping his head between his arms on the table.
“Go back to bed,” I suggested.“I’ll take care of your little guy.”
Nash hesitated, but his bed was a stronger siren song than his son.At the moment.“You’re sure?”
I nodded, but my belly quivered.I loved Levi, and I was more than willing to hold and cuddle him, but I rarely watched him by myself.Each time I did, I wondered if I could keep the baby safe from the raging monster that lived inside me.
I could.And I would.
The situation with Jasmine had helped me to see that I was looking at my genetics, and my history, all wrong.My father was an abusive sack of shit, butIwasn’t.I wouldn’t become one now, and there was no way I’deverhurt Levi.Even if he tried to shove his baby finger in my eye while another made its way to my ear the moment I leaned forward to give him a kiss.I shifted back, chuckling.
“He’s getting sneakier.So watch out.And if you have a problem, come get me.”Nash rose and shuffled off, looking older than me as he made his way toward the stairs and his bedroom.
My guess was that Aya would be up soon; she wasn’t a late sleeper.But by the time I’d made coffee and gave Levi a bath, the house remained silent, and Levi was still much too alert to sleep, even after he pulled an all-nighter.
A few minutes later, perhaps because of the warm bath, Levi started rubbing his eyes and fussing.I scrawled Nash and Aya a note, deciding to take Levi outside before his cries woke his parents, who clearly needed their rest.Once I strapped the kid to my chest in the baby-wearer thing that I’d disdained before, I tucked Levi’s bottle into the backpack Nash used as a diaper bag and headed down toward the creek that ran across the property.
The baby carrier was surprisingly comfortable for both Levi and me, even with the backpack straps also on my shoulders.Levi cooed and kicked his legs, wiggling his arms, as we made our way through the trees toward the creek.
Once there, I took off the pack and removed the kid, holding him like a football in the crook of my arm.
