“Who is she to you?”he asked, shifting his burly hip off his chair and peering at me with an intensity that made me squirm.
This was what I’d been avoiding: admitting my feeling for Jasmine.That would make them manifest into something I must act upon.To act, I would need to face my ugly, bitter past—the one thing I’d avoided for decades.
I stared at the guard, the fluorescent light flickering on and off his drooping features.His eyes were the palest brown and surprisingly kind for his bearing—he was former military.Probably Army like me.No doubt he’d noted my forearm tattoo and my own straight, proud posture.Yeah, he knew me and empathized.So I told him.
“She’s my everything.Happiness, laughter, joy.Love.”
The guard offered a single nod.“I can’t promise the nurses won’t throw you out, but, yeah, I get the need to see her with your own eyes.Now, no funny business.”His tone was stern, making me wonder if he wasn’t a drill sergeant in his day.
“No, sir.I just want to check in on her.”
He gave me the room number.“There’s a waiting room at the end of that hall.You might could settle in there until the shift change.That usually happens around six.The floor gets real quiet.”
I nodded my understanding.“Thank you.”
He shooed me along so I headed toward the waiting area.On the way, I opened Jasmine’s door just enough to catch a glimpse of her profile in the soft bluish light.She was awake, staring up at the ceiling.Chills wracked her body—no doubt a response to the drop of adrenaline or the onset of shock.
Either way, I wasn’t leaving her alone, not like this.I slipped into her room and crossed to her bed.
“Steve,” she murmured, saying my name like a prayer.
“Jasmine.Oh, Jasmine.I…”
“Are you here or is it the drugs?”
I squatted next to her bed and carefully cradled her hand between my larger ones.I’d noted the soft cast and the bruising up her arm.I’d also noted the fear that flared bright in her eyes before she recognized me.
That would take longer to overcome, and I ached for her.
“I’m really here.I was worried.”
Some of the tension eased from her expression as the shivers slowed.“I was scared.”
“Me, too.”
“For what that…that…what he’d do to the girls.”
I squeezed her fingers as I realized once again how strong this woman was.She’d fought off a man with a lamp to protect her grown children.The fierceness of her love for them humbled me.“You always surprise me, Jasmine.”
“I can’t sleep,” she said.“Every time I close my eyes, I see…” She sighed.Meeting my eyes, she asked, “Does it get easier?”
I wasn’t sure if she was asking because of the abuse I’d told her about before or because of my army career, where I’d been in more than one full-scale assault.Didn’t matter.The answer was the same.
“Yes but not for a long time.”I licked my lips.“It’s like…like your brain can’t possibly process what’s been done, and it needs to replay the event again and again, scouring it for clues to keep you safe.But you won’t be in a situation where you can be hurt again.”
“You can’t know that,” she whispered.She pressed her lips tightly together and seemed to shrink into herself.“I was home, on the ranch.Protected.And…” She shuddered.
“It won’t happen again, Jasmine,” I said.“I won’t let it.”
She smiled at me, but it was sad and tired.“I want to believe you’ll mean that in the morning.”
I squeezed her hand again.“I’m going to mean that every single day of the rest of my life.”
She didn’t seem to know how to answer that.We stared at each other.Her trembling lessened and sleep slowly stole over her.
“Don’t leave,” she mumbled.She blinked rapidly and her nose tip turned pink—a sure sign of her agitation.“I hate when you leave, Steve.”
“I won’t, I promise.”I met her gaze, let her look deep—waited until she sighed her pent-up breath, knowing then that she believed me.“I won’teverleave you again, Jasmine.”
