A massive shudder ripped through me. Those derelicts would never, ever touch Vivian again. They wouldn’t have a chance to even frighten her; I wouldn’t let them.
I reminded myself that I was making this call for Naese. He needed my help, and I’d do anything I could for my teammates—even rip out my own heart and stomp all over it.
I just hoped I wasn’t hurting Vivian, too, though I feared I was.
Self-loathing skittered through me, like a spider treading over its web. There were no easy ways to get to the happiness I’d mapped out for us. Damn those men for threatening her. If it had been just me, I’d call them out. Hell, I’d gone toe to toe with them before and held my own, three to one. I hadn’t won that battle, but I’d kept them busy long enough for Vivian to run for help.
“Oh. Well, yes, Hana does.” Vivian sounded surprised and a little hurt. Right. I’d brought up Hana Sato, Naese’s ex-girlfriend, and in the process been an abrupt ass to my…nothing.
Vivian and I were nothing.
My throat burned. I rubbed it against my free shoulder, tangling the hair of my beard.
I knew the building Vivian and Hana lived in was safe and clean, but on the edge of the respectable part of town. I couldn’t understand why Vivi hadn’t chosen a safer place to live, especially after we’d been attacked last year. I’d been planning to buy a house before I went to Michigan but decided to hold off after I returned, appreciating the security of my condo while I finished healing.
“Great. I need some information about her,” I said.
“Umm... I’m not sure I should be offering up details about my friend. How do you know Hana?” Acid bit through the line, and I winced.
Vivi couldn’t be jealous that I’d asked about one of her friends, could she? The protectiveness I got, but… A thrill of pleasure at the mere whiff of the thought trickled through my chest before I locked it down.
Stop it, Lennon. This isn’t about you. You made a vow, and it’s not fair to either you or Vivian for you to lead her on. So focus!
“Never met Hana,” I explained. “I’m just setting up a meet-and-greet for one of my teammates, Naese.” I needed to end this conversation soon.
“Oh. Well. That’s not what I was expecting you to say.” Her voice shifted from edged-with-steel to confused.
I bet she was scrunching her nose. She was adorable when she did that. I wanted to touch her warm skin, bask in her presence… I pressed my free thumb to my eye socket, desperate to push away the image of Vivian my mind had created. “Yeah. So, I’m helping him out. Getting him enough intel so he can talk to her again.”
“Again? I don’t understand. How is it possible that Hana has met your teammate? And where would they have met? Hana’s always at work…”
“Ah, I’m so glad you asked.” I smiled, enjoying that I could share Naese’s romance with Vivian. This connected us in a safe way, one that wouldn’t end with her being abused, broken, destroyed.
Talking about my friend’s love life was as close as I’d get to my own HEA—yeah, I knew that term and yearned for my own, which was why I’d gotten into reading romances. I liked the hockey ones best. That was egotistical, but some of the writers were clearly fans of the sport. As they should be.
“Do you have a bit of time?” I asked. “Because this story shouldn’t be rushed.”
“Um…yeah. I’m off today.”
“Well, settle in, buttercup.” I took my own advice and flopped back onto my couch, scooching around until I was comfortable.
She snorted at my silliness, and I grinned. This is what I’d missed with her, what I craved—that easy connection we’d shared from our first encounter. I’d have to give it up again after I fixed Naese and Hana’s sad ending, but right now, I got to talk to my woman and enjoy every single second of the call.
Vivian listened with the same intense attention she gave most tasks; I could practically feel her focus through the phone. “Wow. Just…wow! Hana dated him through high school and college? I’m so shocked. Hana’s never mentioned your teammate.” Vivian turned quiet. “Never. Which means there’s a reason.”
I hadn’t told Vivian everything I’d learned about Hana, and I wouldn’t. Hana Sato deserved as many of her secrets as possible—to share or not in her own time and way. I felt protective of the small, dark-haired woman with the luminous brown eyes in the same way I did Vivian or my own sisters. We all had heartbreaks and shames in our past.
But I could share Naese’s part of the story, and I’d enjoyed the captive audience—not just because Vivi was a good listener, but because it was a connection we’d always have, no matter where our lives took us next.
Yet even as I told myself that, I knew it was far less than what I wanted, what Vivian deserved. I could feel the wall she’d built between us on this call. She wasn’t going to ask me why I’d pulled away, and she wasn’t going to argue my choice with me. And I wasn’t even brave enough to bring it up, to be honest about it.
“Come to think of it, Hana hasn’t mentioned much about her life before she moved out here at all,” Vivian noted.
“Don’t tell Naese that,” I said lightly, pulling myself out of my head. “It’ll break his heart. Crush it.”
She hummed. “Never. I work with cells, not full organs, so I wouldn’t be the right medical practitioner to patch him up.” Humor seeped into her tone. “But I do have a question,” she added.
My heart clenched. Was she going to push me after all? “Sure. What’s that?”
