As much as I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, instead I rose from the chair. “Again, I’m so very, very sorry. That was completely uncalled for. I’ll clean and bandage your cut.”
I stooped to pick up the stapler, but Paxton mirrored me, dropping to his haunches. He looked so handsome, even with the small gash on his high, stark cheekbone. His features had lost the last haze of youth and stood prominent and sharp. His eyes were wary and full of yearning…
And that made me angry. Really angry. He didn’t get to yearn. He’d broken up with me. He’d nearly cost me my ability to walk, had definitely cost me the child I would—did—love with all my heart and soul.
Damn him.
Just…damn Paxton Naese. I hated him—almost as much as I loved the unfeeling, selfish ass.
No!Gah, where had that thought come from? I didn’t love him. I couldn’t. That would be ridiculous, especially after everything that had happened because of him.
“You know what? No. I don’t owe you anything. Go away, Paxton.”
“Hana.” He whispered it like a plea.
“What’s going on?” Jeremy asked. His shadow fell over us, and I clutched the stapler to my chest as I rose and burrowed under his arm, which he tightened around me. He was thoughtful, kind; he didn’t break my heart and ruin me to my very soul.
“Paxton’s leaving,” I said.
“Hana…” So much emotion in just my name. Paxton’s shoulders heaved, his chin dropping. “Wereallyneed to talk.”
“No, we don’t. The time for talking wasyearsago.”
“Please, don’t get stubborn.” His eyes darted toward Jeremy.
“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Jeremy,” I told him, insinuating that we were more together than we were. Jeremy enjoyed that immensely, and he kissed my temple and nuzzled into my hair…and I still felt nothing. Only when I stared at Paxton did I feel, and it was a wall of anger so thick, boiling, I wasn’t sure I’d ever overcome it.
Because what he was feeling now, with misery shining through his eyes, is what I’d had to suffer for months after the accident, after I’d lost everything I’d wanted.
Paxton’s expression shifted from sadness and jealousy to a neutral mask. “All right. I guess, well, I guess I needed closure.”
“Why?” I sniped. “You’re the one who broke up with me.”
Paxton’s lips curled into the tiniest smile. “Not because I wanted to.” He hesitated but then blew out a breath. “Your mom?—”
A growl ripped out of my throat. “Are youreallygoing to say mydeadmother made you break up with me?”
Memories swirled. My mother had never considered Paxton enough for me. I was too brilliant to waste my life with an athlete. I was too delicate to accommodate such a brute. More and more comments, more and more thoughts swirled inside my head.
She’d tried everything to break us up. I knew that. Just as I knew she’d been delighted when Paxton and I had split.
“She’s dead? I…Damn, Han, I didn’t know.” Paxton’s shoulders bunched. When he bit his lip, my heart ached for him. I hated to see him nervous.
Why did he seem surprised? Our crash had made the news, mostly because Aiki’s driving under the influence had required a trial that caused him to plead for a manslaughter charge. He was still in jail—all of that thanks to me having called my mother and hoped for…something more than her usual dismissal of my feelings. She’d finally proved to be the mother I wanted, and her decision to be there for me had gotten her killed. I straightened my spine and lifted my chin, ignoring Jeremy, who was irritating me with his cuddling.
“What are you trying to say, Pax?” I hadn’t wanted my voice to soften, hadn’t wanted to use my nickname for him, but his confusion and sadness had gotten to me.
The jerk had always made me feel—and more than I wanted to.
Paxton lifted his eyes and met my gaze. Yearning and anger swirled in their depths. He gestured toward me, seeming almost helpless…lost. “I didn’t know.”
Chapter3
Paxton
The computer beeped, startling us from the tense grip of our shared past. Hana shrugged out from under the skinny-shit boyfriend’s arm and turned with a faint stumble toward the machine, but not before I noted her twisted mouth and the jut of her pixie chin.
She was upset, but with me or her mother?
