“You know what?” Hana had said.
“What?”
“You’re just like everyone else in my life.” With that she’d turned and walked away, her shoulders hunched.
I’d spent a sleepless night, and unable to handle the divide between us, I’d gone over to Hana’s house early the next morning. I’d needed to talk to her and make sure she knew how much I cared for her…
When the door had opened, Mrs. Sato stood there, smiling brightly. Her face was more animated than I’d ever seen it. “You did the right thing.”
“It doesn’t feel right,” I muttered. “In fact, I don’t think I can?—”
“You can,” she snapped. “Youwill. It’s for Hana’s future. You should never have had the opportunity to disrupt her path.”
For the first time in that moment, I saw the tyrant Hana had rarely mentioned but clearly knew well. Mrs. Sato didn’t have Hana’s best interest at heart. I’d realized the older woman was creating a future for her daughter that she wanted for herself. One that didn’t—and had never—included me.
And the off-kilter feeling had grown. Ihadto see Hana; I’d explain?—
“You will not see her,” Mrs. Sato had countered.
And I’d realized I’d spoken aloud. Straightening my shoulders and lifting my chin, I’d stared into her eyes. “I love your daughter.”
She’d scoffed. “If you did, you wouldn’t have been so quick to listen to your father.”
How hadsheknown about that? Had my dad and Mrs. Sato talked about Hana and me, decided our future? I’d felt duped. No, this couldn’t stand. I’d stepped back and looked up at the second-story window in Hana’s bedroom.
“What good is love?” Mrs. Sato had sneered. “It doesn’t offer security or respectability. My daughter deserves better than mere love. Go.” She’d waved me off. “You aren’t welcome here again.”
I’d stumbled back, shocked as Mrs. Sato shut the door with a hard click, nearly popping me in the nose. As I’d turned in a circle, unsure what to do, Aiki had slunk around the side of the house, a smirk on his face.
We hadn’t gotten along so well since I’d started dating Hana. Actually, we hadn’t gotten along since I’d grown seven inches taller than him in the eighth grade. But he was my only hope.
“Aiki, you know how I feel about Hana,” I’d started. “This… it… My dad, your mom—it’s wrong. You gotta help me, man.”
Aiki’s smirk had bloomed into a full smile. “No, actually, I don’t. You lost your chance.” He’d practically crowed the words.
I’d tried to get around him, but he blocked me. Within a moment, I’d realized he was ready to use all his pent-up anger and aggression against me. I couldn’t get to her now. I’d pulled out my phone.
Aiki had snatched it from me. “You had your chance, and you threw it—and her—away,” he’d called back over his shoulder. “Don’t ever forget that.”
I’d stood there, stunned for a moment before I took off after him. But I was too late. He’d pelted around the corner and out of sight.
Mrs. Sato had opened the door and yelled, “She’s not here, anyway!” Then she’d slammed the door shut again.
After I’d moped around outside, then inside for the next several hours, my father had suggested we leave that day for the draft. After we arrived, my friend from the Junior Nationals team, Davis, had tried to cheer me up with lots of sexy girls, but I wasn’t that interested in them—or in having a good time—until I’d gotten a text message from Hana the next day on the new phone my father had gotten me:
Hana: I never want to talk to you again.
After reading that, I decided those other women looked pretty nice after all, and I leaned hard into the partying. But it always left me empty, even more so after my first-choice coach, Silas Whittaker, had told me the Wildcatters were passing on me because of my surprising and wild behavior.
Instead of reining it in, even then I’d leaned into it more, hoping the other women would fill the hole of Hana’s absence. They hadn’t.
“Move your ass, Naese!” Cruz bellowed through the door.
I’dfinallyfigured out that Hana hadn’t sent that text message. It had taken me a long time—too long—to realize my father had given me a new phone with a new number. A number Hana wouldn’t have.
Maybe if I’d returned home after that first season, I would have been able to talk to her. But I hadn’t. I’d been too angry at my father for his part in breaking my—and her—heart. And I couldn’t bear to look down the street and see her house, remembering all our shared moments.
So instead of returning home, I’d bought a house in Houston after I was traded mid-season. I’d hoped to show management I intended to put down roots. I still had lots of women around because I enjoyed their company, and I liked the idea of Hana being jealous, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of building a relationship with any of them.
