“Oh, they’re bothered enough that you’re a lowborn. Don’t worry too much; just smile and curtsy. You won’t have to say a word throughout the wedding, anyway. Neither the king nor queen is to speak at all during the ceremony, and only after the kiss will you be allowed to exchange words.” She cleared her throat. “Or grunts.”
I batted my eyes.
“Or moans.”
Winnie took my hands, curling her lips into a rare, devilish sort of grin. An imp had to have possessed her body in the night; this creature could not be sweet, stern Winnie.
“You’re going to have sex.”
I paled. “Y-yes.”
“You look as though you might faint.”
“I—” I hesitated. “I could use a private space, I think. Somewhere other than my room.”
“Oh, mercy. Quinn!” Winnie took my hand, returning me to my parents. “Quinn, escort Princess Alana to the temple, will you? I must deliver the remaining Chastains to the solar.”
“Is she well?” Mother asked.
“Oh, just pre-wedding jitters. Nothing some peace and quiet won’t help,” Winnie dismissed. She gestured for them to move along, taking them into the palace.
Alone again with Quinn, I exchanged a brief look with him before turning toward the temple. I hadn’t been there since Percy’s funeral.
We went inside, walking along the carpet past gold-plated pews, and stopped before the statue of the gods. It was daytime, and there was no funeral in service, so the Lady of Day was turned to face us. Her peaceful expression was entirely hollow, but admirable in design. Despite the statues, the space felt devoid of mana, as if it were the one place the gods did not exist.
Quinn stared at the Lady for a long time. Then he kneeled, bowing his head. I watched, curious and silent, awaiting explanation.
“It’s all right to be nervous,” he said from below. “I’d be more worried if you were calm.”
I chewed my lip. With his eyes closed, I couldn’t reply, but I wasn’t sure how to sign my internal screams anyway. This wedding business was all so overwhelming, only days away, and the minutes slipped through my fingers like fine sand.
Quinn opened one eye, looking up at me through his lashes. “Would you like to pray with me?”
I knew how to make requests of the Lord of Night, but never had I taken the time to simply communicate with the gods. If I prayed here, in this empty sanctum, would my thoughts even reach them?
Nevertheless, I kneeled beside Quinn and closed my eyes. I folded my hands and focused on the warmth coming from Quinn’s side.
What did he pray for?
I peeked at him through the corners of my eyes. Light streamed through the temple’s stained-glass windows, crowning him in a halo of gold and azure. His lips moved in silent supplication, full and tempting.
I looked away and shut my eyes once more, reaching out to the darkness.
Thank you, Lord of Night, for gifting me the friendship I have with the viscount, and for the protection he provides. Forgive me for this moment where I wish to lean into him, for the way my pulse quickens in his presence, and for all the wishes Idare not name.
My skin prickled; I could feel him watching me now, not the Lord but the viscount. I measured my breath, praying for strength. Praying that Quinn would find his own happiness, even if it meant leaving my service, and that whatever his feelings were would evolve into something he could make peace with.
I blinked my eyes open to find him still watching.
He reached for my hand, and I let him take it. Only for now, only in prayer. I hoped it would be enough to satisfy us both.
Winnie had intercepted us on our return from the temple, mentioning that the queen wished to discuss “duties of matrimony”, and took me thusly to my bedchambers.
Adelaide stood by the window, fingers tracing the edge of a book I’d left on the desk. A work of fiction, one rife with adventure and romance and certain explicit sequences that caused me to go rigid when I saw it in her gloved hand.
“Your Majesty.” I curtsied, trying not to show my surprise.
“Leave us,” the queen commanded Winnie without turning.
