Pale, frozen skin.
The lifeless eyes of someone who had finally given up.
And that mouth.
It typically did so well at faking it. But it couldn’t fake it, anymore.
My gaze stayed transfixed on my moonlit reflection as I grabbed a tub of lipstick. My soulless eyes burned through the mirror while I slowly drew a smile along the glass over those tired lips. The crimson smile looked as out of place on that reflection as it did every time I’d adorned it in the name of pretending.
Pretending I was okay when I was dying inside.
Pretending people’s viciousness rolled off of me when it really rolled through me with jagged edges.
Pretending I didn’t mind that people didn’t want me when I was so,solonely.
So why bother anymore?
The red lipstick, still pressed into the mirror, began to shake in my trembling fingertips. The makeup smeared, and an ugly line dragged down the mirror as my hand fell. My lips quivered as I stared at my ruined reflection, hating everything I saw there.
Clenching my fist, I grabbed my hairbrush and jabbed it into the glass over and over. I gritted my teeth, watching fractures tear across the girl staring back at me until finally, the mirror broke and took the image with it. I breathed hard and looked down at the many broken fragments littering the top of my vanity, and if I looked closely, I still saw her in those pieces.
I saw the stupid, unwanted nobody that always burdened others with her misery.
I saw the girl, who would never amount to anything in the career she so desperately wanted.
I saw the girl, who would never find her place with people who understood her.
I saw the girl I no longer wanted to see.
I reached out to grab a sharp piece of glass. It sliced into my palm and fingers, creating a small stream of blood that dripped down my arm. I squeezed harder and looked at my left wristwhere the open book tattoo covered old scars. The design was supposed to remind me that there was still more story to come.
But I didn’t like this story anymore.
I closed my eyes and prepared to greet peace. I let out a pained sob as I brought the glass shard to my wrist.
A gush of cold air hit me before something warm and solid suddenly covered my wrist, gently yanking me off my chair to my knees on the floor. I peeled open my burning eyes and was met with a pair of black-and-red slitted ones.
“Don’t!” Dante choked on a rough exhale, his eyes wide and panicked. “Don’t do it. Don’t go where I can’t reach you, Serenity.Please. I stillneedyou.”
His plea had the numbness ebbing enough that everything I’d been shoving down rose up with a vengeance. I hiccuped on an agonized whimper as tears blurred my vision.
“It hurts, Dante,” I cried. “Existinghurts.”
“I know, baby.” He took the glass shard from my bleeding hand and placed that bloody palm to his chest while reaching up to wipe my tears with his clawed thumb. “I know it does.”
“I’m sotired.” I shook my head feebly and squeezed my eyes shut. “I can’t fight anymore.”
“Then don’t,” Dante begged. “If you can’t fight, letmefight for you. If you can’t breathe, letmeshow you how. I can’t take this darkness away, but I can hold your hand as you walk through it. Just …let me. Don’t give in, baby.Please.”
I stared at him, huffing and puffing around my silent cries. Finally, I whispered, “Why did you come back?”
His palm on my cheek pressed closer, and his brow furrowed before he leaned in to press his forehead to mine. “You said I’m the night sky. You said I’m the safe space for broken fragments to land. You can’t land if you’re not still alive to do so.” His rough breath fanned across my cheeks as he pleaded, “So land here, Star.Resthere. Just don’t go anywhere. I’ve got you.”
His warmth wrapped around me before his arms ever did. I’d been falling down a dark abyss with no way out before, but as I found myself being folded into his arms and brought against his chest, that maddening descent slowed. The dark all around me became speckled with small rays of light, and a different kind of darkness finally caught and cradled me.
I could breathe, even if it still hurt.
I was motionless, even if I was still shaken from falling.
