“Stop talking to him,” Bradley said with a fierce shake of my arm. “You aren’t allowed to talk to another man without my permission. Do you understand?”
My jaw dropped as I tried to grapple with the outrageous things he was saying. “No. I—”
The slap came too quickly for me to even register that his hand moved. One second I was standing in his iron grip, and the next, I was struck so hard that it knocked me sideways. I crashed to the floor with a whimper. My ears rang, and a flare of pain bloomed along my mouth and jaw. I stared at my tremblinghands where I braced myself on the ground. Bradley’s hard pants were the only sound beyond the whooshing in my ears as I sat frozen on the ground, just staring at my pale hands on the floor. The world froze, and time became lost.
A drop of crimson dripped onto the top of my hand. That small speck of color was like someone hitting the play button, unfreezing me and my shock. Tears finally rolled down my throbbing cheek, and I slowly looked over my shoulder at Bradley, all while blood gathered between my teeth and over my tongue.
His venomous, drunken gaze held mine, and as the seconds ticked by, his breathing evened out. The intoxication seemed to clear, and he blinked rapidly, his mouth opening and closing so fast, he looked like a fish out of water.
“S-Serenity,” he choked. His own arms began to shake, and he covered his mouth with both hands. “Holy shit. Serenity, I d-didn’t mean to do that.”
I hiccuped, the shock fading and morphing into horror. My vision blurred with tears, yet I still attempted to crawl away from him. He followed after me, squatting on the ground and grabbing my hand while cupping my injured jaw with the other.
“Serenity,” he whimpered. Tears lined his own eyes, and he rubbed his palm gently across my face. “Serenity. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so,sosorry. I swear. I didn’t mean to hit you. I-I was waving my hands around, and—and—”
Fear lodged itself in my throat, and the extreme rush prevented me from responding. All I could do was sob and lean away from his touch. Regardless of how angry or drunk he’d ever been, he’dneverhit me. He’d never gotten physically violent. The shock over his action was nearly as strong as the panic firing through my system.
“Baby. Dollface. I’m so sorry,” he cried, wiping at the tears on his face and my own. “It was an accident. I swear, I’d never hurt you. You know that, don’t you? Huh?”
I couldn’t stop shaking. I wanted to point out that he just had. I wanted to admit I was scared. I wanted to scream at him to leave. I wanted to tell him he wasn’t the Bradley I used to love.
But the unexpected terror held my voice captive.
Bradley’s blue eyes were red and anguished as he continued crying and searching my own gaze. “Wait here. Don’t move.”
He jumped up and raced into my bathroom. The sound of the sink filtered out into the main room, and a second later, he returned. He knelt in front of me and gently wiped the blood off my chin with a cool, wet rag. He dabbed at my mouth, and a burst of pain followed, making me wince. He bit his quivering lip at the sight and continued his soft doctoring of my face.
“I’m so sorry,” he cried.
“You hit me,” I whispered. The words only brought fresh tears to my eyes.
Bradley’s face shuttered in pain. He cupped my uninjured jaw and apologized, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. Please, believe me. I didn’t mean to, baby. It won’t happen again. I swear. It was an accident. You know it was. We’ve been together for so long. Have I ever hurt you before?”
He hadn’t. This was a very jarring first, and the pain that came from the blow was undeniable. Not the physical pain. That burned and throbbed, but the ache now settling in my heart and mind was even harder to sit with.
The charming boy who teased and flirted was gone.
This was a man who clung to the neck of a bottle too often, and its poison had caused this irreversible damage.
“I can’t—”
“Please don’t say it,” Bradley sobbed. He hung his head, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “Please don’t say you can’t be withme now. I’m sorry. I really am. I’ll never get angry like that again. I’ll never tell you who you can be friends with. Please. Dollface. I love you so damn much. Please give me a chance to fix this.”
I stared at his blubbering face. In our eight years together, I’d never seen Bradley cry. Not when he broke an arm in a football game. Not when his family cat died.
But he sobbed now.
My heart hung suspended in this terrible tug-of-war. Half of me wanted to run away from him, but the other still clung desperately to the Bradley he’d always been, the one I gave all of my firsts to, the one I gave myfutureto.
Could I do it? Could I stay after what he’d done? I knew this was out of the norm for him.
With that in mind, I croaked, “Stop drinking.”
He nodded hard, hope shining in his glistening eyes. “I’ll never touch another drop.Never.”
I held his stare and let his promise seep into me. I hoped it would heal the wound he’d made. I hoped it would take away some of the hurt still strangling me. Instead, the numbness that resided within its buried cracks rose up to take it all away. The darkness bled out inside of me like a drop of blood slowly staining water with its presence.
Bradley carefully pulled me into his lap and held me close, whispering about how sorry he was and how much he loved me. My arms remained limp at my sides, and I stared across the room at nothing, welcoming the numbness like an old friend.
