As if I were a ghost rather than someone she’d known since the first day of my life.
“It’s me,” I said, shrugging my shoulder awkwardly.
Loretta’s lip quivered, and before I knew what was happening, she wrapped her arms around me, her hand holding the back of my head into her chest. I tried to breathe in, but between the dress and Loretta, air was a thing of the past.
“You left in the middle of the night, you foolish girl. We were all beside ourselves with worry. Then you write only every few months, what were you thinking? You had us all worried sick. Your poor mother- your mother! Come with me!”
Air rushed into my lungs as she released her hold on me, only to drag me down the hall that smelled of lavender. It choked me and permeated throughout my lungs with lethal precision.
It smelled like home.
“Mrs. Bailey!” Loretta screeched.
Never once had I heard our maid lose her composure. Not even when she watched Oscar fall out of the cherry tree in the backyard and break his arm. She was always calm and collected, with wisdom to divvy out on every occasion.
“Lorretta? Good heavens, what is it?” My mother asked, popping her head out of the drawing room.
She was still beautiful. Her golden curls were still meticulously kept, but where rosy cheeks had once lived were pale and hollow cheeks. Lines that probably drove her mad branched out from her eyes. It would have been easy to convince me it’d been years rather than just one by looking at her. Worry had aged her, and I was responsible for that.
“Hi, Mama,” I said too quietly.
She stared open-mouthed at me, her mouth opening and shutting of its own accord.
“Robert,” she gasped out. “Robert!”
My father’s quiet voice murmured something from the drawing room, but my feet were stuck to the wooden floorboards beneath me.
“Ophelia?” my father asked, rounding the corner. “What is it?”
He stilled when he saw me. God, his cheeks had been so round a year ago. His hair, which was always more brown than gray, was now the reverse. His bushy eyebrows even held gray that I would have remembered. A year had wreaked havoc on him. Too thin, too frail.
My eyes stung as they filled with tears. I’d done this. While I was off seeing the world and falling in love, becoming a pirate, they suffered.
He barrelled towards me and wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me with the familiar smell of cognac mixed with mint. I fell into him; the tears falling harder. Overwhelming guilt choked me, but I selfishly let myself find comfort in him. Hisshoulders shook, and my heart lurched at the fact that I could wrap my arms around him, whereas a year ago, I couldn’t.
“My sweet, wild girl. I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry, I was wrapped up in my own grief. I didn't see how much you were hurting. We should have been there for you so you didn’t feel like you had to run away. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
This was the worst sort of torture. That he should have been here blaming himself when it wasn’t even in the least bit his fault.
“I’m sorry, Papa. I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Hush, darling, all that matters is your home now. Is Oscar with you?” Mama asked.
I nodded. “He is, but he had an errand to run and will be home in a few hours.”
My father didn’t bother to release me, but only held me tighter.
“An errand? After two years in Paris, an errand was more important than seeing his family?” Mama’s voice grew more shrill with each word.
Finally, my father pulled away and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“There now, Ophelia, what matters is that they are home now or on their way home. We will have a dinner to celebrate. Loretta, send word to Ruby and tell her to bring the whole family!” my father declared with red eyes and redder cheeks.
I felt out of place in my own room. The walls too confining, the floors too still. I missed the swell of the ocean beneath my feet. I missed the warmth and coziness of Bash’s cabin. Just like that, dressed in my old clothes that felt too rigid and encompassing, I realized I was ruined for polite society.
The sea was in my blood now, and every second I was away from it, I heard its call reverberating through my bones. I reached up and wrapped my hand around my necklace as I waited for the knock on the door that would soothe this serpent trapped inside of me.
Like he knew how much I needed him through that unique bond we’d always shared, two taps rested against my childhood bedroom door.
