CARLA:
-Don’t be stupid. You’re not one of his games.
-Stay away from that idiot.
Whatever, Carla. I lock the phone. Let it drop next to me on the rooftop.
No one gets it. I don’t get it either. I know it was fake. That’s the part that keeps looping in my head. It was just a fake kiss, a stupid little stunt to piss off my ex. So why do I feel like shit?
My cheek is still burning from my dad’s slap and somehow that annoys me less than the way everyone talks about it. About him.
About "that disgusting kiss" like we stood up in the middle of the room and licked their eyeballs or something, Jesus.
At least I had a real reason to talk shit about him. He used to mess with me nonstop for years.
But them?! What’s their excuse?
They talk about Gio like he’s literally the worst human being on earth. Like he’s some disease I caught and I should be ashamed.
Why am I bothered?
He’s the one who grabbed my waist. I’m the one who went along with it. We both knew exactly what we were doing.
It wasn’t love, it wasn’t some romantic moment.
It was strategy. It was revenge.
So why do I feel this weird urge to defend him every time someone opens their mouth?
Why do I want to say, "Oh my God, people, relax, it was just a kiss," or "You don’t even know him," instead of just shutting up and letting them hate him?
And the worst part? The kiss wasn’t even that bad.
There, I said it.
It wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t traumatizing.
It wasn’t "what the hell was that, ew, men" level.
If anything, it was annoyingly okay.
Way too good for something that was supposed to be a joke. Maybe that’s why everyone’s comments sting so much.
Because they’re dragging something I don’t fully understand yet. Because when they rip into it, it feels like they’re ripping into me too.
I keep thinking about that second when our mouths touched for the first time and the room disappeared and my brain went quiet and loud at the same time.
Why the hell do I feel the need to protect that?
Why do I feel guilty?
I’m confused. I’m tired. I’m annoyed at myself.
It was fake.
So why does it feel so real in my chest?
36) The Fontana Disaster
