I stare at the spotless counter, chest tight.
What if the rot isn’t just under Baywood’s surface?
What if it’s been around me all along?
XADEN
The blue folder sits on my desk, full of scribbled notes, surveillance photos, and crossed-out names. Every lead I’ve chased since the night they wheeled my father’s body out of our garage.
The folder serves two purposes: SBI’s bigger-picture investigation into dirtycops and small town crime lords, and my personal quest — finding out who killed my dad.
I should take the folder to Cole. Lay it all out. But not tonight. Tonight’s about saying sorry. Not showing up with a file full of maybes and saying, "Look, this is why I left you." If I handed him this folder now, he wouldn’t see the work. He’d see four years of silence stacked in front of him like evidence. He’d see abandonment neatly filed away under my name.
And he’d be right — that’s exactly what I did.
I step outside into a warm, quiet street. The kind of summer night that feels like it’s holding its breath.
And then memory hits.
***
The first time I went over to Cole’s as his boyfriend, he answered the door like we were in a Jane Austen novel. He listed every beverage in the house — “tap water, soda, juice, milk” — and then asked if I wanted them cold or room temperature.
“Room temperature milk? You sure know how to treat a guy,” I grinned, and he blushed to his ears.
The pillows in the living room were freshly arranged.
Cole gestured stiffly to the couch, then sat across from me with his hands folded like I might propose at any second.
“No chaperone?” I teased.
“We’re alone,” he said — then, panicked, “But… how about this weather?”
It hit me, sharp and soft, how much it all meant to him. This wasn’t casual. He wanted us so badly it turned him into a slightly unhinged old maid.
I stretched out on the couch and kicked his foot.
“Cole, do you have a concussion, or are you just trying really hard not to look at me?”
He scowled. Muttered something about manners. And I loved him so much it hurt. Because when he forgot himself, when he let himself look at me, it was like being seen for the first time. But the moment he noticed, he’d snap his eyes away.
It made my heart ache: knowing how much he wanted this and how terrified he was of it.
Of me.
Eventually he sat next to me, and once he stopped offering me walnuts from a fancy bowl, I kissed him.
***
I’d bet a hundred bucks there’ll be zero walnuts for me tonight.
COLE
I sit on the porch, hands tightly in my lap. The air is thick and humid, the night keeping me company. I’m waiting for Xaden. I know he won’t let this day end without talking, not after what he said. He’ll come even though I’ve told him to stay away. Because he’s Xaden. He might have changed in a million ways but not in this.
I swallow. When we were friends, we never even argued. And when we were together, we only fought once. I had read a situation all wrong and accused Xaden of getting frustrated with me when the truth was he was nothing but patient with me. Always.He never pushed. Never made me think less of myself because I wasn’t ready.
Our argument started with Xaden telling me what Ann-Sabrina had said.“You two make my slow burn novels feel like a men’s 100 meter sprint.” Any other time I’d have found it funny. But I was hungry and cranky, and what I heard was: “Everyone’s laughing at you. You’re so shy. So awkward.” Naturally, Xaden got pissed too, and when I asked him to leave, he did, slamming the door. I stood in my room, frozen, sure he’d never come back. I wanted to run after him, but I was scared it was too late.A few minutes later, I opened the door only to find Xaden leaning against the wall.“You done being a dumbass?” he asked softly, pulling me close. And I kissed him like my whole survival depended on it. It probably did.
