Bo went cold.
A drafty attic with a few dusty, newly opened boxes. A near-empty hallway in a courthouse, tunnel vision to keep from hyperventilating as the world crashes down. Again.
“That’s not funny.”
“I would not make light of this.” Ever didn’t even swallow, didn’t flinch, only kept his eyes on Bo. “It was that or– Kesk and Veroni consider humans beneath their hospitality. You weren’t safe.”
Bo took a half step back, his hand falling away. The holly leaf fell to pieces, drifting to the floor.
“What was the deal?” His eyes hurt. At least he could still breathe. There was that. He couldn’t, back in the attic, that first time his world had crumbled.
Like a dry leaf.
“Three years for your life,” Ever answered, in the same blank, defeated tones. “I’m to remain with Nimai. You’re to return to your realm. I have his oath he won’t harm you or yours nor cause you to come to harm. Not in that time or after.”
Ever paused, looking to the side, then back. Waiting. Waiting like he always did for Bo to be the one to move things along. Even while he laid out in not so many words that everything that happened still landed him back with Nimai. Exactly the thing Bo’d fought against from the start.
Robin would know the right words. Fucker had a feelings wheel in his bedroom. There had to be something for the burn at the back of Bo’s throat and the weight of his limbs.
Betrayed. Horrified. Insignificant. Deceived.
Another safe space turned against him. Belief put in someone who’d only be there until something happened that’d take too much effort to fix.
“Fuck you,” Bo managed to get out, the sound between a whisper and a hiss, tongue thick with dust and cobwebs. He took another step back. He felt sick. Antonio’s words echoed; Everusinghim as the fucking reason to do what he’d been trying to do since Bo fucked his plans up. “You raging asshole.”
A day ago, Bo wouldn’t have even thought the words. But hell, a day ago, Bo’d thought they meant something so, shit changed.
Adoration and summer kings. Fuck him. And fuck Bo for believing him.
“I’ve betrayed you. Gravely.”
“That’s one fucking way to put it. Anything else?”
He hoped there was nothing else.
Ever swallowed but kept on speaking, unmoving and still and nothing in his goddamn expression. “Our bond remains until you will it otherwise. But it will be painful, the separation. I won’t ask you to maintain it. If you would have me break it, I’ll do what’s necessary.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Nothing about a future. Nothing aboutafterthe three years. Nothing, because that’s what Bo was worth, since it turned out fae could fucking lie after all.
“You won’t be injured.”
Bo laughed. Disbelief, anger, and hurt mixed in, making it a hoarse, ugly sound, punctuated by the rough drag of his fingers through mussed hair. His own, because the thought of touching Ever’s in the moment made his stomach twist.
Couldn’t even apologize. Just made fucking statements as he, kelpie, gorgeous and hollow and hurting and the worst piece of shit, made all Bo’s worst fears true and didn’t evenapologize.
He could flinch, though. Ever could flinch and step away, his eyes dropping to the floor. And Bo, Bo wasn’t even able to take joy in it. He just wanted to hug the fucking kelpie and make it better, but instead there was fuckingthis.
“So long as I’m not bleeding, it doesn’t count, that what it fucking is?” Bo’s traitorous voice broke. Shook. Everything shook. “No. Fuck that. You’re the one making the big choices around here, and fuck what I think. That’s on you.” And god, it hurt, knowing that was true. “Your decision to sign me up for three years of pain or living forever withthe knowledge that, at my goddamn request, you hurt yourself even more by breaking the bond. Fuck you for trying to put that on me.”
And Ever, quiet, fragile Ever, took another step back. Looking so damned small. Spoke in a voice barely a whisper and stilleven. Calm. “It’s on me, yes. I don’t wish to– It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it fucking matters!”
Goddamn him, Ever flinched again. Any other time before, Bo would’ve tugged him close, stroked the dead leaves from his hair, brushed a kiss to his gray-tinged forehead. But any other time before, Bo hadn’t needed a goddamn hug himself. Needed to be reassured that this wasn’t what it fucking felt like.
He needed–
