“This is fucked,” he said, if only to hearsomething.It didn’t even echo. “Hear that, Veroni? Kesk? Declan already made us sit in corners and think about what we’d done. You’re not even being creative.”
Silence.
Fuck.
Silence, except for Bo, his fingers tapping on his knees. Humming. Fidgeting. All while keeping his eyes on the door and talking out loud and pointedlynotthinking about a horror novel he read years ago where someone was tortured in a sensory deprivation tank.
Yeah. Definitely not thinking about it.
Only Ever’s emotions gave him something to hold on to. Shame, guilt, anger. Feelings he’d mostly gotten used to over the last few days, all of it muted by magic or distance, like with Suire in the woods.
And. Yeah. It hadn’t escaped his notice that he’d gotten used to those shitty feelings because they cropped up whenever a fae showed up. Mention the bond, or have a fae so much as glance in their direction, and Ever became a statue, carved of self-loathing in shame.
One common denominator, every time.
The aforementioned common denominator closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall.
“Correlation isn’t causation, you paranoid, anxious fuck. Shit can coincide without it being related. You fucking idiot.”
Robin’d drilled that into his head more than once, insults and all, when they’d been younger. Bo, trying to be understanding, had tried to blame Robin’s diagnosis for, well, a lot of things. Arguments. Old hurts. The fact that Robin was a prickly shit. Turned out Bo was a misinformed asshole, and Robin was just a prickly shit who also had a couple pills to take each day.
Fuck, Bo needed to get through this. Needed to see his brother again. Robin’d be furious if Bo died in a blank white box in Faerie.
Not that he’d know. He’d just–
No. Everil had promised. He’dpromised.
Bo pushed the thoughts of Robin away. There were other things to think about. Like what Leana had said about the citrus grove and being honor-bound. Or the little oak crown that nestled tight in his hair, refusing to budge.
It manifested an acorn, though, dropping it into his hand. Something to fidget with. Bo tossed it from hand to hand, grateful for the distraction.
The door opened just as he caught the acorn for the fiftieth time. Bo shoved himself to his feet with a mutter of, “Thankfuck, this is the worst goddamn trial.”
Ever, in the doorway, and fuck, Bo’d missed him. Missed him and–
Something was wrong.
Ever’s feelings went from muffled to front and fucking center as soon as he crossed the threshold. A wall of terrible shit, slamming down around the both of them, dragging at Bo the same way those spinning fair rides always had. That fucking guilt again, but different. Protectiveness, so much of it, and it wasn’t like either of them had failed the trial.
Right?
Despair. Bleak and hopeless.
“Fuck, Ever.” Bo flinched but didn’t slow his quick stride over to the kelpie.
Ever looked … gray. Colors drained from him at the edges, the sharp leaves of his crown gone dull and brown, caught in Ever’s hair more by luck than shape. Holly rained down when he looked at Bo, spoiled berries hitting the floor with a heavy, wet sound.
“Bo,” Ever said, his voice absolutelyhollow. Flat. Detached. “I would speak with you. Please.”
Bo reached up, tugging a leaf from his hair. Ever leaned into the touch, his breath shuddering and unsteady.
This was fine. Bo was fine.Theywere fine. Maybe Bo hadn’t gone through his own challenge yet; it wasn’t as if Kesk could call shit invalid, not with the door open now. This wasn’t a figment situation, not like Declan’s trial. Not with the bond singing at their touch.
“Yeah, fuck. Of course. What the fuck happened?” Bo ran his fingers over Ever’s cheek, skin gone pale and freckles standing out. “You sound like shit.”
Ever shuddered and, only then, glanced up to meet his eyes. Their gazes locked, dull gray to worried blue.
“Nimai,” Ever said, quiet and level. “He was waiting for me. I couldn’t– We struck a deal.”
