Leaving her mother to sleep, Lucy went out into the hall to check for messages. She switched on her phone, and her heart lightened to see Juliet had called. Twice. Quickly she pressed the button to call her back.
“Hey,” she said when Juliet answered with her usual brisk “Tarn House.”
“How did it go?”
“Okay. She’s out of surgery. The doctor says it went well, but there’s still a lot ahead of her. She’s hoping to have breast reconstruction in a few months, when the mastectomy has healed.”
“So she can do a whole slew of new sculptures.My Breasts, Rediscovered.”
“Probably,” Lucy agreed. She couldn’t tell from Juliet’s tone whether she was still angry with her, but at least she’d called.
“How are you?” Juliet asked. “How’s Boston?”
“Fine. I haven’t seen much of it. I’ve just been to Mum’s apartment and the hospital.”
“Are you going to see your friends?”
She hadn’t even texted Chloe to say she was back. “Yes, probably. Since I’ll be here for a while.”
There was a silence, and then Juliet said flatly, “You mean you’re staying through her recovery, until she has the reconstruction?”
Which meant months, not weeks. “I haven’t thought that far ahead, Juliet, but I can’t just run off.”
“I never said that.” Another silence, taut with tension. “It’s too bad you’ll miss Christmas here,” Juliet said finally. “The carol service down at the Lifeboat Station with Father Christmas—well, Rob Telford in a shabby old Santa suit. And of course the tractor pull down on the beach on Boxing Day is fun, especially for the children. The Christmas Market in the village hall is small, but sweet.”
“I’d love to see all of it,” Lucy said. She could feel a lump forming in her throat.
“Maybe next year.”
Lucy took what she hoped her sister meant as a peace offering. “Yes, next year,” she said. “Definitely.”
After she’d hung up from Juliet, she decided she might as well as call Alex. Get all the awkward phone conversations over with.
“Hello?” Alex’s voice sounded faintly harassed, and Lucy could hear the girls behind him. It sounded like they were emptying the dishwasher, possibly onto the floor.
“Alex, it’s Lucy.”
“Lucy—Poppy, a little quieter, please!” There was the muffled sound of his hand on the receiver. “Sorry about that. It’s a bit chaotic here.”
“I miss that chaos,” Lucy said. She heard Charlie bark and her heart gave a sorrowful little pulse.
“How’s your mum?”
“Okay,” Lucy said, and told him what she’d already said to Juliet.
“So it sounds like you might not be back by January,” Alex said neutrally.
Lucy’s hand tightened on her phone. “I’m not sure,” she said. “It really depends on my mother’s recovery and . . .” In that moment she couldn’t think what else it depended on. “Well. You know.”
“Yes, I know,” Alex said, and again she felt that awful subtext running beneath their words.
“Alex, I want to—”
“Look, Lucy,” he cut across her. “I understand that your mother needs you. Trust me, I do. If my mother had stuck around long enough for her to need me, I’m sure I’d have been there like a shot.” Which made her feel only worse. “But the truth is, your leaving has made me think.” He paused, and she heard him moving through the house, closing a door. “Maybe we should just put things on—on hiatus.”
She wasn’t surprised, and yet his suggestion still hurt. Unbearably. But she wouldn’t beg. Not this time. “If you think that’s a good idea,” she answered after a pause.
“I do. It’s not what I want, but I think it’s sensible. I don’t want Poppy and Bella to get their hopes up for something that might not happen.”
