What happened had scared him because he knew he wanted her to help him.
“I should not have lied to her,” he muttered.
“No, you should not have.”
“She must hate me.”
“I doubt that, but you will only know that if you go home.”
Cassian knew that, but his feet would not move. He did not want to see his house, to smell the faint scent of ash that always lingered. He wanted to forget that the building existed to begin with, but that meant not seeing his wife, and he needed to do that.
“She will be furious with me.”
“You say that as though you are afraid of her.”
“I am not afraid of her. I-I simply know that she wants me to be vulnerable, and that is not the sort of man I am.”
“But is it the sort of man you want to be? If so, you had better become him quickly, or else you will lose her. You said that her friends are to visit within the week?”
“They are. At least with them present, I will not have to worry that she is looking for me.”
“Perhaps not, but they will ask her about your marriage. From what I have heard, these are four formidable ladies. I would not recommend upsetting any of them, lest you be buried beneath the house you hate so much.”
Cassian had not considered that. He had agreed to welcome four dukes and their duchesses into his home, which meant there would be eight people prepared to cast their judgment on everything he did.
He had grown used to the stares and accusatory glances of the ton, but it was different knowing that his guests knew his wife well and did not know him at all. Which was his own fault, he supposed, for he had never made the effort to get to know the other dukes.
“I need to fix this,” he groaned.
“You do. Fortunately, I believe that is precisely what your wife wants, so she will be amenable to it.”
“I almost do not want that. You know what, I think this marriage might have been easier if she hated me. At least then, I would have no reason to do all of this. I could simply be one of those men who had an arrangement they loathed and nothing more. Instead, I am on my way to grovel.”
“You need not grovel, only apologize. You may also want to be honest about where you have been, for it will only come back to haunt you otherwise.”
“I know. She likely would not believe me if I said my plans had changed. However, there is just one small thing.”
Rowan raised a questioning eyebrow.
Cassian knew his friend would disagree with him, but he knew what had to be done.
“I will return in the morning,” he declared. “As it stands, tensions are too high. I shall give her time and then return to her. It also gives me the chance to buy her some gifts.”
Rowan chuckled, shaking his head at him. “Very well. You are welcome to stay the night, on the condition that I accompany you in your search for the gifts. If you are going to leave her alone all night, you need to return with something worth it.”
Cassian did not argue. Frankly speaking, he knew there was no convincing his friend. There was still a part of him that did not even think he was wrong, but a larger part of him knew that he was. He did not have to accuse Adelaide the way he had, and she deserved better than him doing so and then leaving.
Eventually, they left for the village. Cassian knew that he would have to choose something beautiful to earn her forgiveness.
“I do not think it is only for this that I should apologize,” he murmured as they walked.
“Oh? What do you mean by that?”
“It is everything. All this time, I have simply said that she knew what our marriage would be like, that she was not to be hurt when I was not a good husband. But I was wrong. I could have been a far better man, and I was not.”
“Then tell her that. You need not make things more complicated than necessary. If you feel something, then tell her. Had you done that to begin with, you would not be here now. You would be helping her prepare for her friends’ visit.”
“You say that as though I would be of any use. That is for a lady to do.”
