“When I was younger, I would have expected something else,” he confessed. “Any child would have such ideals, but that is not what has happened. It is for the best that I am cordial with Adelaide, and I prefer it this way. She might not like it, but if she knew the truth, she would understand.”
“Very well. Tell her the truth, then.”
“I cannot, and you know exactly why. As it stands, she is at least able to live under the same roof as me. If she knew what I had done, she would leave.”
“That is to say, you have grown attached to her?”
“No, that is to say that I have a reputation to protect.”
But Rowan could see he was lying.
The truth was that Cassian had greatly enjoyed his time with Adelaide. Every time he saw her, he was more drawn in, and it terrified him. He was not supposed to fear anything at all, but the thought of her truly seeing him and knowing what he had done was enough to bring him to his knees.
“She will come to know eventually, especially with your mother in the house. Is it not best that she hears it from you?”
“My mother will not tell her, for the same reason I will not. She would not want a real scandal brought on the family a second time.”
“Very well then, do as you please. But do not come to me when this all goes terribly wrong, for I will only remind you that I tried to prevent it.”
Cassian was simply pleased that the conversation ended there.
“Now,” Rowan continued, “when will her friends arrive?”
“Next week, hence the drastic changes to the house. I rather like it, actually.”
“And I suppose that you are looking forward to the noise. It has always been so dreadfully quiet here, or at least it was before you got married.”
The faint notes of the pianoforte drifted up to their ears. It was a sweet and gentle sound, very pleasant, and it was something Cassian had grown accustomed to since his wife had moved in.
“I do not know if I am particularly excited about the noise, though they are duchesses, so I am expecting some semblance of refinement.”
“Isn’t Lady Cecilia Kingsman one of them? From what I heard, she was practically combative ten years ago. Do you suppose much has changed?”
“I hope so.” He grimaced.
Of course, Cassian had looked into his wife’s friends. The gentlemen seemed fine enough, upstanding dukes who cared for their reputations, but their wives had apparently been difficult. They had all changed. But then, given their positions, it was unlikely that anyone would dare say a word against them.
Frankly speaking, even though he had done everything he could to learn about them, he did not know what to expect.
“In any case, you are more than welcome to join us at any time. You must be lonely here, without the city’s entertainments.”
“I do prefer the city, but if I were to go there, people would assume I decided to take a wife—which I amnotinterested in doing yet. I was only there to keep you out of trouble.”
“And what a wonderful job you did.”
The two men laughed and settled into a lighter discussion about Rowan’s estates.
Cassian had expected to miss his bachelor days, but he did not. He thought of how everything had changed for the better since his wedding day, for the most part.
He liked that Adelaide had forced him to change slowly and that she did as she pleased, even if she was worried about the repercussions. She was never reckless, but there was a streak of determination in her that he could not help but admire.
When Rowan left, Cassian returned to his study and looked out the window. Adelaide was sitting in the garden with a book, her hair loose. It lifted in the breeze, at times being blown over her pages. He watched intently as she brushed it over the back of her neck with her fingers, unable to look away.
She was so beautiful in her moments of calm, and yet he was also thrilled by her fieriness when she was angered. As tempestuous as she could be, these perfect quiet moments drew him to her, and he did not know what to make of that.
He did not like the quiet. It made him think, and that made him remember, and that was the worst thing he could possibly do. He preferred distractions, having something in front of him that he could occupy himself with. Still, he wished he could do as she did: sit outside in the calm and enjoy doing nothing.
Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. If she could push herself and become a duchess, then it would not be impossible for him to try something new.
