There is part of me that hopes you can have that too, that something that meant so much to me can bring you the same thing. But if it’s not running then maybe it’s something else. Maybe it’s reading. Maybe it’s walking up Primrose Hill – our hill – and taking in the view. Maybe it’s keeping up your knitting and crochet and all the other crafts you do that I don’t know all the names for but that I know make you happy. Either way, I hope you’re making time for the things that help you feel better able to face life.
And the other reason I chose this book is because you never used to think that you could become a runner. You didn’t think you could make it to the top of the hill. But you did. I want to remind you of that – especially on the days when you don’t feel like you can get through this.
And remember, I will always, always be cheering you on, even if I’m not there to enjoy this spring with you.
I love you.
Joe x
Harper folds the letter and reaches for a tissue on the coffee table.
‘That’s some letter,’ she says as she blows her nose.
‘I know. So, I need to tell you something.’ Tilly places a spotty biscuit tin down on the table. ‘I’ve signed up to do the Royal Parks Half-Marathon in October.’
Harper pauses from reaching for a biscuit, her eyes widening.
‘I thought you said you didn’t want to put your trainers back on ever again?’
‘I don’t.’
‘So you signed up to a marathon … because?’
When she hears it like that it does sound slightly crazy.
‘Half-marathon,’ she corrects, helping herself to a chocolate cookie. ‘I’m notcompletelyinsane. And I signed up because I need something to motivate me. Running meant so much to Joe. It might make me feel closer to him. But I don’t know if I’d keep it up without a goal. He used to be so good at keeping me going. This way I can’tnotdo it.’
‘Well, I guess that does make some sort of weird sense …’
‘And there’s another thing that’s going to help me do it too,’ adds Tilly. ‘You’re doing it with me.’
‘What?’ Harper stares at Tilly, a look of terror flashing in her eyes. And she’s a woman who has bungee jumped on four continents.
‘I signed us both up. I thought it would be a nice sisterly thing to do. A way to spend time together.’
‘Couldn’t we have just gone for coffee?’
‘We can do that as well …’
Harper rubs her face. She takes a beat.
‘I love spending time with you, Sis, but I hate running. Could you not have done a climbing or abseiling or kayaking challenge instead? Then I’d happily be there with you. I can’t run a half-marathon.’
‘Neither can I. But if we train together, we’ll both be able to. It’s just like Joe said. We can do anything. And you’re so fit from all your adventuring, I bet you’ll find running easy.’
‘I seriously doubt that. I don’t think running issupposedto be easy.’
Tilly glances again at the copy ofWhat I Talk About When I Talk About Running. She thinks back to the words Joe wrote and to some of the passages she has already read in the book, about how running is hard and you have to be disciplined but it can bring you a sense of peace. She could do with some peace in her life.
‘Please,’ she says, feeling desperate now. ‘I want to do this for Joe. But I don’t think I can do it on my own.’
Harper lets out a sigh.
‘You know, it’s very hard to say no to you.’
24
The next morning Tilly wakes to an email from her mother-in-law.
