‘Is this …?’
‘A year of books,’ Alfie finishes for her with a nod. ‘And I know this is absolutely not the same as your books from Joe, but I thought you might still like to have a book to look forward to each month. I thought a set of new books might help you through the next year, whatever it brings.’
Tilly says nothing, she just holds the parcel tightly in her hands, her heart racing and a lump caught in her throat.
‘Is that OK?’ He looks at her with an expression that is both hopeful and anxious.
When Tilly manages to speak her voice comes out as a whisper.
‘Alfie, it’sperfect.’ She wipes her eyes, her heart pounding. ‘But wait, how did you know that I’m moving?’
His throat moves as he swallows. ‘Raj told me at the wedding – about New York.’
‘Oh …’ she says slowly.
‘And I think it’s great,’ he adds hurriedly.
‘You do?’
‘Raj said it was an amazing opportunity. I’m happy for you. You deserve it.’
Around them the shop is quiet and empty, the street outside busy with people heading to the local pub for Christmas Eve drinks. But in here it’s just them. And Georgette, who is now snoring softly. Tilly glances around at the bare shelves, imagining Alfie repainting and John moving in upstairs and her not being here to see it.
‘Is that why you’ve been avoiding me since the wedding?’
He flinches, shifting about on the spot.
‘I’m sorry. I just thought, with you leaving, it might make things … easier, if I kept my distance. I didn’t want ourstuffto complicate things. Even if it was the best kiss of my life.’
Her heart pounds. But as she looks at him everything else seems to still.
‘Alfie, I’m not moving to New York.’
‘What?’
He looks up at her, his long-lashed eyes shining.
‘Ihavedecided to sell my flat. I’ve been wanting to tell you about it. But I’m hoping to stay in the area, if I can find somewhere. I just thought it might be time for a fresh start in a new place.’
‘You’re not taking the job in America? But I thought it was your dream job?’
‘Maybe it was … once. But this past year has changed what I thought I wanted. It’s changedme. And I’ve realized I don’t want to go back to that life – working crazy hours in an office, always being on call. Helping famous people write famous books. It’s not what I want.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’ Alfie asks.
‘I’m going freelance,’ Tilly replies, feeling a buzz of both nerves and excitement as she says it. ‘I want to work with new writers, helping them get their books ready to send out to agents and publishers. I want to help them at that very early stage, when they’re feeling lost, and not sure if they have a story to tell. My friend Rachel is going to be my first client. I did one round of edits for her for free, but she’s insisting on paying me for the next round. And she’s already referred me to her friends in her writers’ group. And after that … well, I’ll see how it goes. Maybe I’ll have to take a permanent job in the future, but I like the idea of working like this, and the freedom it brings. I can do it how and when and wherever I like. And life is too short not to try.’
Alfie fixes her with a look that makes her heart skip. She is very aware of the space between them, just a couple of paces. It’s a small shop, after all.
‘So you’re staying.’
She nods. And then, ‘I thought you regretted what happened on the balcony.’
‘No,’ Alfie replies quickly, his eyes flashing. ‘I could never regret that. It wasamazing. But I meant what I said before. I want you to feel safe with me. And if that, if this …’ He gestures at the space between them. ‘If any of it is too much, then I really do want to stay your friend, even if that kiss was the best kiss of my life. When I thought you were going to New York …’ He draws in a breath. ‘It made me realize how much I want you in my life. Whatever that looks like.’
‘I want you in my life too.’
They each take a step forward … and then they are in one another’s arms, each holding on as tightly as the other.
