‘I’m glad I came,’ says Tara as she says goodbye after a cup of tea and a generous slice of coffee and walnut cake.
‘I’m so glad you did too,’ replies Phoebe.
Arabella and Camilla are smiling and linking arms tightly by the time they head off too.
‘Thank you for this,’ says Arabella and her mother nods.
‘Yes, thank you, Phoebe. Oh, and I’ve been meaning to tell you: I went running last week.’
‘Really?!’
‘Really, this time. I promise.’
‘She really did,’ chips in Arabella, giving her mother’s arm a squeeze. ‘I’m so proud of you, Mum.’
‘And I’m proud of you too, darling. You’ve helped me so much these past months. I still have my dark days, but things feel …’ She tilts her head to the sky, where a beam of sunlight is finally making its way through the clouds, ‘ … Brighter.’
‘I’m so pleased to hear that, Camilla. And remember, I’m here for you on those dark days.’
Because Phoebe is experienced enough to know that one run and one wild swim isn’t going to make her patients’ problems go away. Mental health is far more complicated than that. But her job is to help her patients find tools to cope and today she feels as though she’s offered them something new to add to their kits: a place and people to turn to when they need it. And it feels even sweeter that the thing she has shared with them is something that has helped her through her own dark patch.
‘I hope you had a good time?’ Phoebe asks Ben as he lacesup his trainers and pulls his rucksack onto his back.
He shrugs.
‘It was all right.’ But just as he is leaving, he turns over his shoulder. ‘I might invite the football guys next time.’
As he walks away, Phoebe grins, full of hope at the thought of a next time.
CHAPTER 45
Kate’s phone hasn’t stopped buzzing since she shared her post. She’s been flooded with messages from her friends, and as she walks back from the river with Rosie in the sling, she scrolls through them, trying her best not to get too emotional as she reads.
Emma:We’re so proud of you, Kate! And Rosie is going to be too xx
Leonie:Well done for speaking your truth. We love you! Xx
Erin:Saw your post and wanted to say how proud I am of you, little sis. Xx
Frank:You’re our hero, Kate! Love Frank, Jermaine and Sprout xx
Hope:I’ve SAid it Before and I’ll say it agaIN. Rosemary would be so proud of you.
There are messages in the Tired Mums Club group that Lexiadded her to after their last swim, all the women cheering her on and thanking her for her honesty.
But as Kate scrolls through her phone, trying her best to keep up with replying to her friends, she isn’t sure that she deserves their praise. Because the truth is that her reasons for opening up weren’t entirely selfless.
This morning, she woke to a message from someone she went to school with but hasn’t spoken to in years.
Hey Kate, I’m not sure if you remember me. When I saw your Instagram post about your experiences with your baby, I just had to get in touch. My son was born six months ago and these past six months have been the hardest six months of my life. Most of all because I have struggled to bond with my son. I’ve felt that there’s something wrong with me, that when I look at him, I see a very cute little stranger but I have none of those gushy emotions that I thought I would feel. Reading your post made me feel so relieved. I had to get in touch to tell you that it’s not just you. I understand exactly how you feel. I haven’t told anyone else this, but seeing your post made me think that maybe I could. And that maybe it’s going to be OK. Love, Lizzie xx
It’s not the only message Kate has received like that. Throughout the day, she’s been flooded with them, some from acquaintances and colleagues but a lot from strangers. Each messagetells a unique story but holds the same message:I understand. I see you. You’re not on your own.
For the first time in a long time, Kate feels truly hopeful for the future. She’d been so nervous about letting anyone see her vulnerability, but now she wishes she’d written her post ages ago.
As she crosses through the village, she lets herself think about all the things she is looking forward to. Rosie’s first pair of wellies. Taking her to the beach. Their first Christmas as a family. And top of her list is her first swimming lesson this afternoon. She managed to book on to a class that takes place in the next town.
‘Are you excited about going swimming later?’ she says to Rosie as they turn onto their lane. ‘I think you’re going to love it.’
