The cottage comes into view and she spots her mum’s car parked on the drive.
Jay is making tea in the kitchen when Kate walks in and her mum looks up, a smile on her face. She’s in one of her usually chic outfits, today a denim jumpsuit that makes Kate think about painting Phoebe’s flat together with her new friends. Her bob is neat as ever, but Kate wonders if she looks a little tired and if her smile seems somewhat tight.
‘Hello, darling. I brought a lasagne.’ She gestures to the oven dish covered in foil that sits on the side.
‘Thanks, Mum. That’s really kind of you.’
‘I’ll leave you both to it,’ says Jay. ‘I’ve got work to do in the studio, but shout if you need anything.’ Since Kate shared her Instagram post with his photo and tagged him in, he’s beenflooded with enquiries. Her friends from the Tired Mums Club have all booked portrait sessions with their babies and partners.
He kisses her as he passes and Kate lingers for a second, a hand rising involuntarily to his cheek. After last night, she woke feeling closer to him than she has in months. They brushed their teeth side by side and holding hands, and before she left to go to the river, they’d shared a long kiss, his arms tight and warm around her waist.
Once he’s gone, a silence descends. Kate doesn’t know how to bridge the distance that she feels has grown between her and her mum over recent weeks.
‘I saw your Instagram post, darling.’
‘Oh.’ So that’s why she’s here.
‘I just wanted to come and check on you.’
‘Thanks, Mum. But I’m doing OK. People have been so supportive.’
‘I saw that. What you said seems to have really connected with people – I scrolled through some of the comments and they’re really lovely. I’m very proud of you.’
‘Thank you, that means a lot, Mum.’
‘And you will get there, I know you will,’ she says now, putting down her tea so she can place a hand on Kate’s arm. ‘In your own time. I know you will utterly adore that little girl. Just like I adore my girls.’
Her eyes shine and she lets go of Kate’s arm to quickly wipe her face before taking a sip of tea.
‘I love you too, Mum. How are you doing, anyway? I feel like we haven’t spoken too much recently. Is everything OK?’
‘I …’ Her mother opens her mouth but quickly closes it again. She takes another sip of tea and then the fixed smile returns to her face. ‘I’m fine, sweetheart. Right, I’ve got to go now, actually, busy day. But I just wanted to come and check on you. Let’s get something in the diary soon, though.’ She kisses Rosie on the top of the head, then kisses Kate’s cheek too. ‘I’ll just pop to the loo before I go.’
As her mum heads upstairs, Kate notices that she has left her phone behind on the counter. The screen lights up with a new message. She doesn’t mean to look. But when she sees her stepfather’s name, she can’t help but glance over.
Brian:Have you spoken to Kate? You know we’ll have to tell them both eventually.
When she hears her mum’s footsteps on the stairs, she quickly turns her back on the phone and starts washing up in the sink, looking out at the garden.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ her mum says, slipping her phone into her pocket and grabbing her bag. ‘Enjoy the lasagne. See you soon!’
There’s so much that Kate wants to ask her mum. But she doesn’t know how to even start the conversation without revealing that she invaded her privacy. So instead she hugs her and then watches from the doorway as she drives away, her mind spinning with the thought of what she might be hiding from her.
CHAPTER 46
Kate spends a long time weighing up whether or not to tell Erin about the message she saw on their mum’s phone, but in the end decides she can’t keep something like that from her sister.
Erin:That does seem strange. Oh God, what if Mum and Brian are breaking up?
The thought has entered Kate’s mind too. As soon as her mum left, she went out to the studio to tell Jay about the message.
‘Shit, I’m sorry. Whatever it is, though, I’m sure she’ll tell you in her own time.’
She knows he’s right, but it doesn’t stop her thoughts from spiralling. But as she glances at her phone to type another message to her sister, she spots the time.
‘We’re going to be late for our swimming lesson,’ she says to Rosie, who has just woken up from a nap in the sling, looking around with wide eyes.
As Kate drives them to the pool, her mind goes round and round in circles, thinking about her mum and stepdad and what the message she accidentally read might mean. As soon as she arrives at the pool, though, her attention is snapped back to the here and now by the smell of chlorine and the sound of splashing.
