‘Mum!’
‘It’s OK, Nan,’ says Phoebe. ‘I can help with that. It will be fun.’
‘Thanks, pet,’ she says, giving her hand a little squeeze.
Phoebe squeezes back, already thinking about supplies she might get for the project. For a moment, thoughts of her life in Somerset come creeping back in. She wonders how Ben is doing and how her patients will manage next week when she’s not at work. Mel has reassured her it will be fine, but she still worries.
And there’s something else too: what will all this do to her chances of getting promoted? Mel was very kind and understanding, but will she really think Phoebe is ready for even more responsibility? And if she doesn’t, what does that mean for Phoebe’s future and her chances of staying in her home in Farleigh-on-Avon? It hits her, too, that with everything that’s been going on, she hasn’t even started to tackle the issue of her flat being completely void of furniture. She’s been meaning to see if she can find any freebies in local online groups, because there’s no way she could afford to refurnish her whole flat, but hasn’t had the time or energy. Her mind wanders to Luca then, reliving the moment when he pulled away from her and she felt like a huge idiot.
But then she forces herself to stop. None of that matters right now. Right now, she is here with her family. And for once, she is going to put thoughts of work and everything else aside and let herself be fully present.
CHAPTER 38
It’s a good day when Kate gets to go for a swim. It’s a great day when she gets to swim more than once. In the morning, she joins The Farleigh on Avon River Swimming, Bathing and Recreational Water-Based Activities Club, except today they are down one of their usual members. Phoebe isn’t there. Kate assumes she must be busy with work, but she sends her a message anyway to check in. She’s yet to receive a reply.
While Phoebe might not be there, some new swimmers join them. Kate’s face lights up with excitement when she sees Lexi, Jess, Sophie and Olivia from the Tired Mums Club heading through the meadow carrying their swimming bags. She’s even happier to see they have managed to make it here without their babies. They’re a little nervous about getting in the water at first, but, in the end, Kate jumps in with them from the pontoon and as soon as they burst up from underwater, they are all laughing and smiling.
‘God, I needed this!’ cries Lexi.
The other women welcome the new members warmly. Jazz seems a little quieter than usual, but she explains it away as a headache and seems to brighten once they’re in the water.
As they swim, they spot Bert the kingfisher again, much to their delight. It hits Kate that this is something that would never have happened back in London. As much as she loved her lido, there’s something magical about being so close to nature here at the river. The bluebells are in full bloom now, their heads nodding in the slight breeze.
Afterwards, they share tea and cake from the Kingfisher. Kate finds it hard to look at Hamish without laughing after what Sandra told them last time and when it’s Jazz’s turn this time to be given his World’s Best Lover mug.
‘It’s beautiful down here,’ says Olivia. ‘I can’t believe I haven’t been here before.’
The river feels new to Kate too and yet it has already worked its way into her heart.
She heads back home to a morning of nappies and nursing and singing to Rosie. But in the afternoon she makes her way back to the river again, Jay taking over with Rosie. As she waits for her sister beneath the willow trees, she thinks what a shame it is that their mum couldn’t join them. It’s beautiful here and it would be good for the three of them to spend some baby-free time together. But Kate can’t begrudge her for having plans. She’s put her life on hold these past few months, making herself available to help. It’s natural that would come to an end and Kate feels able to face the prospect of having less help now. But she still misses her mum.
‘Kate!’ calls Erin, emerging through the gate and stepping her way down to the river through the long grass. She’s dressed in a blue-and-white gingham dress with a matching bow tied in her ponytail and, not for the first time, Kate thinks how glamorous her older sister always manages to look. Kate is at least wearing trousers with an actual zip today.
They greet each other warmly and Kate realises it’s the first time she’s seen her sister one-on-one like this since Rosie was born. It wasn’t exactly a common occurrence before then either, what with Erin’s own two children and busy working life to juggle. These moments are likely to be rarer now that Kate is a mother too. But that makes them even more special.
‘How was your trip to London yesterday? I saw Emma’s photos on Instagram. It looked as if she had a great time.’
Kate had seen them too – tasteful crops of dresses so that you couldn’t see the full design but just flashes of fabric, and one of all of them together in the bridal shop, taken by the sales assistant. As she ‘liked’ them and added a string of heart emojis in the comments, she thought how sad she would have been if she’d seen those photos but without her in them.
‘Well …’
Kate tells her sister about vomit-gate and has to pause to allow Erin space to snort with laughter.
‘I’m sorry. That must have been highly stressful. But that’s alsohilarious.’
‘I thought I was going to die from embarrassment.’
‘But you didn’t.’
‘No, I didn’t. I’m pretty exhausted today, though. It was probably a bit mad, heading to London by myself with anewborn like that. But I so wanted to be there. And I think maybe I was trying to prove something to myself too. That I can still be fun now that I have a baby.’
Erin laughs again. ‘God, I know that feeling. Do you know, when Ted was a baby, I convinced my friends to take me clubbing? I hadn’t been clubbing inyearsbefore having him. But I got it into my head that it was what I desperately wanted to do.’
‘You didn’t tell me that,’ laughs Kate. ‘So how did it go?’
‘Not well. I ended up having to pump in the grotty toilets when I thought my boobs were going to explode, and then going home at about ten.’
‘Wow, a wild night then.’
