Soon, the wind picks up and whips me with no mercy. When the heavy, cold raindrops start to fall from the sky, I flinch. But I remain rooted in place.
The thunder rumbles, and lighting pierces the sky. The street is empty by now. Everyone is safe in the comfort of their own homes or in entertainment establishments. It’s just me and my misery, trying to weather the storm.
The wind is arctic, and mixed with the cold rain, it makes me shiver uncontrollably. I refuse to get up and seek shelter. My teeth clatter andthe raindrops cling to my eyelashes, stinging my eyes. I’m grateful for my gloves. At least my hands are warm. Until the leather gloves get soaked from the heavy rain and the dampness of the leathers against my naked skin makes me gag.
Finally, the door opens. I know it’s Kazh from her silence.
Before she can open her mouth to curse me, I speak loud enough so she can hear me through the storm raging around us. “I was arrogant, and disrespectful. I should have obeyed you without resistance and earned my place as your mentee. I have failed you and have broken the sacred trust between the mentor and the student that should never be broken. I am sorry. I don’t deserve you as my mentor. But the spirits of the gods know I need you. I need your help, wisdom, and guidance. Please, give me another chance, honorable Oka Oya. Accept me back as your student, and I swear to the spirits of the gods and everything that’s meaningful to me, I’ll serve you right this time.”
It takes me quite a while to get the words out through clattering teeth, but I manage.
“Shut your mouth, and get up,” Kazh says. “Do you want the lightning to strike you in this storm? No shit you need my help and wisdom, there isn’t a single brain cell in that head of yours. And you, get inside, too!”
Is Jax still here? She doesn’t have to repeat herself. I scramble to my feet as quickly as I can. She goes back inside the inn, and a moment later, Jax’s hand is on my arm. I wobble inside and Jax closes the door. The interior is warm and toasty.
“Pleasure to see you again, Oka Oya,” Jax says smoothly.
If I had to guess, he’s bowing at his waist for the old woman.
“Shut up, pretty face,” Kazh says. “Your sight is not back. I’m guessing your memories are not back either.”
I shake my head.
She hums. “So the lesson isn’t learned.”
It’s not a question, but I still shake my head.
Her voice is as cold as the howling wind outside. “Then why are you here?”
I lower my eyes and bite the bottom of my lip. “I’m here because I can’t do this without you. I need your guidance and your support. I need you to help me learn this lesson and find the path forward. To help me win the last trial. To help me become an Ezkai worthy of becoming the General, because right now I’m not worthy. I need you to shape me into a lethal weapon so I can claim the blood debt I’m owed. And I need your wisdom so I could prevent Ekios repeating Wetra’s mistakes.”
Kazh doesn’t reply for a long time. I don’t see her face, but I know her eyes are on me. She’s drilling through me, and with each passing moment, fear grows inside my chest.
What if she rejects me? I’ll be fucked.
Finally, she asks. “Are you going to whine a lot while you train blinded?”
I look up, hope blooming in my chest. “Are you taking me back?”
Kazh sneers. “Well, what choice do I have? You kneeling in front of my damn inn like a homeless puppy is bad for business. And if I had to guess, you won’t leave unless I agree to take you back as my student. Even if you’re an arrogant little shit, I don’t give up on my students this easily. We will finish what we started. I’ll make a proper Ezkai General out of you. But I don’t want to hear a single cry or whine from you.”
I train with Oka Oya for two weeks straight, from dawn till sunset. No breaks, no coddling or comfort. Kazh is harder on me than she was before. But I welcome everything she throws at me, because it makes me stronger and better every single day.
Despite that, I have yet to gain my memories or sight back. Apparently, being humbled wasn’t the lesson I had to learn.
But my control over my emotional manipulation ability is back to where it was. At least there’s that…
“You need to find an anchor, something very important and valuable to you to help you keep your senses in check so that unwanted emotions don’t bleed through your shields and distract you at the worst possible moment,” Kazh says.
I sit on that same damn rock in Vera’s garden. Today is a beautiful sunny day, and Vera’s whole crew is out enjoying the weather and the view of me being tortured. I can hear their chitchat and occasional laughs. Sweat drips down my face, and I pant as I try to recover from intense drill I had to perform mere moments ago.
“You said your senses become raw after the trials, right?”
I nod. “But only after the Trial of Truth and the Culling.”
She hums. “Those two instances left you shook the most, isn’t that right?”
I nod again.
