Fear seizes my chest, and I’m unable to breathe. This moment of distraction is enough to ruin it all. I lose my balance and fall forward on all fours. The stone scrapes my knees and I hiss.
Kazh stops.
Slowly, she approaches me. I pant, too scared to look up at her. I don’t need to see the disappointment in her gaze.
“Oka Oya, maybe she should take a short break before you continue? My chef prepared your favorite tea, peppermint leaves fresh from the garden.”
I lift my eyes to find Vera standing in the doorway. I don’t know how long she’s been here, watching me train. Kazh taps her cane right in front of my face. I don’t have another choice but to lift my gaze to her face.
The moment I do, I know what’s coming next.
“You have to earn a break.” She cocks her head to the side. “You think this will be as easy as passing the Ezkai Academy? I’m not an instructor you can fuck to help you get through your missions and graduate. With me, you’ll have to earn every single thing.”
I can’t believe this bitch.
I scramble to my feet as quickly as I can and square my shoulders. We stand face-to-face. Kazh watches me with all-knowing eyes.
I’m boiling with rage, my cheeks and neck aflame. “I didn’t fuck my way through the Ezkai Academy! I earned my place in the Order!”
She shakes her head and cackles like an old crone. “Sure you did. Just as you earned your keep with the Royal Guard, heh? When both your parents served the king for decades. A nepo baby, that’s what you are. An entitled brat who uses everyone she can to get ahead.”
That’s a low fucking blow.
My palms curl into fists at my side. I’m trembling at how hard I try to reign in my emotions. “You know absolutely nothing about me, or my parents, or what kind of person I am, you old crone.”
Kazh’s gaze dances with amusement.
Vera’s voice is full of warning. “Phoenix, you can’t speak to her like that!”
Kazh clicks her tongue. “You know what will get you killed in the end? Not the more experienced Ezkai.You.You’re reckless and led by rage, losing control is your ultimate flaw. You posses an ability not many Decarios do, the power to kill without touch. You’ll end up burning yourself out and burning everything in your path, everyone around you, if you don’t learn how to be in control.”
I’m done.
I’m so fucking done with all of this.
All of them.
Kazh trying to break me.
Vera trying to control me.
Jax always mocking.
Daegel, keeping fucking secrets again and again, and trying to manipulate me into letting him win.
Throwing my hands in the air, I scream, “I’m done! I’m done listening to your fucking insults and treating me as if I’m a bomb waiting to explode and take all of you down with me! You’re my mentor. You’re supposed to believe in me, not try to break me!”
Vera’s lips part in shock. She’s horrified.
“My duty is to shape you into an Ezkai worth serving as the General,” Kazh says. “Your temper tantrum only proves what I said—you’re untamed, wild fire. Absolutely not fit to be the General, not even close!”
Her words are sharp as daggers. And they slice through my chest with ease.
“Then why have you agreed to help me, huh?” My words are full of venom. “Why have you accepted me as your mentee if I’m so fucking weak?”
Kazh sneers. “Maybe I made a mistake. I thought that if the spirits of the gods let you survive the Culling, you were worthy. But maybe they made a mistake, too.”
I’m surprised at how much her words hurt. Frustrated, I growl and stumble towards the studio.
