Every muscle in my body screams, and I grind my teeth so hard my jaw hurts.
Kazh circles me, humming a tune I can’t recognize and tapping her cane in a rhythm that hits a nerve inside me every single time. I’m about to loose my shit.
“Control yourself. Keep your fucking emotions in check,” Kazh says casually. She doesn’t even look at me. “Your nostrils flare as if you’re a dragon ready to smoke someone out. Get yourself fucking together.”
The tapping stops for a moment. I almost lose my balance and topple forward when she smacks me with the cane at the back of my neck. My exhale is ragged. I really,reallytry to not let the rage inside me explode.
“Wild. Untamed. Absolutely no impulse control,” Kazh murmurs under her breath. “A disgrace.”
She’s doing everything to drive me to the very edge, and push me right over it. I bite the inside of my cheek and taste blood on my tongue.
The rhythmical tapping continues. After a few torturous minutes that feel like hours to me, Kazh says, “Now, get into a sleeping flameyngo.”
For a second I doubt I can pull myself out of the position I’m currently in. My muscles are locked, and I can’t move. Kazh whacks me with the cane over my naked ankles and I hiss in pain.
“Get into a sleeping flameyngo.Now.”
With a long exhale, I force my body to move. I’m shaking and trembling as I straighten my right leg and pull the left leg up and bend it at the knee. Once my right leg is straight, I place my left foot flat on the inside of my right thigh, above the knee.
“Hands,” Kazh says.
I open my palms and turn them to face the sky and bend my elbows until they’re aligned with my waist. Stretching my right leg after such a long time feels like heaven. I would cry from relief and joy if I wasn’t so furious.
“Gaze up. Why do I have to tell you what to do? You know by now, you stupid fuck.”
Kazh whips me with her cane three times over my naked thighs. I lift my chin up to face the sky and close my eyes. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. My skin is full of bruises, and my muscles ache. Inside me a storm rages.
I want to quit.
Quit this stupid training.
Quit these stupid trials.
Quit this stupid crusade of vengeance.
Despite that, I peel my eyes open and look at the damn blue sky stretching high above me.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“During the Trial of Truth, you’ll be facing the worst enemy ever,” Kazh says. She hasn’t mentioned anything about the next trial yet. I’m all ears, ready to gobble all and any information she has to offer. “Yourself. Only if you conquer that, will you be able to conquer the rest.”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My muscles twitch at that damn sound of the cane hitting the stone.
“Do you know what you need to be able to do that, child? Ironclad discipline of the body, and utmost control of your emotions and thoughts. One wild thought, one slip of emotion at the wrong time, is enough to damn you.”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Once more, my muscles scream and I start to shake with tension. I’m on the verge of getting a cramp in my left calf.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
“During the Trial of Truth, you’ll be entering the spirit world to face your biggest enemy. There is no fucking space for failure when you’re on the other side, do you understand me?”
My heart flutters.
