Next came pull-ups, where Johnathan required us to atleastmake it to ten. My arms were burning but I made it to sixteen- not beating my record of seventeen yet, but not bad for all the time I hadn’t done them for, especially since I beat both Nick, who did eleven, and Matt, who stayed on his usual twelve-thatmade me cackle. I think I may have beaten Jack as well, though he didn’t openly admit to it so I couldn’tbe sure.
“Still like me after I beat you?” I whispered to Matt, breathless.
“Shut up,” he muttered back, sounding winded. We did push-ups, sit-ups, the dreaded sandbag carry. By the time we got back to sparring I was sweating and out of breath, but not out of energy; it was the best training I’d had in a while and with what had happened with Stryker and my increasingly worsening worry over my feelings for Matthew, I’d needed it.
I got beat by Dean, destroyed Alex- and did a happy dance for it, which provoked a loud tut from Johnathan-almostpinned down Jack andthengot to go against Matt.
It was a pointless spar, though. We’d been watching each other train too much and knew each others moves to perfection: it was creepy, considering we’d only really known each other for a month. We grappled and got nowhere- duck, step, left, jab, twist.
I heard a snort, made the mistake of turning, and Matt seized the opportunity to pin me down.
“You’re not supposed to get distracted.” He mumbled into my ear. I groaned, realising my weight from my arms and completely flopping down on top of him, grinning at hisexaggerated moan and pathetic attempt to shove me off him, thendistinctlyheard Dean grumble ‘get a room.’
I froze. Matt, from underneath me, snapped his gaze over to the young man.
Johnathan called Alex and Jack to spar, not paying any attention whatsoever to the tense expression on mine and Matt’s faces, so in the meantime I crept closer to Dean and hissed “the fuck do you mean?”
He didn’t look amused, or remotely kind, when he muttered “I didn’t realise they let couples train together now. Real progressive.”
My chest tightened. The dust seemed heavier all of the sudden, the air too thick to breathe.
Matthew’s expression didn’t change much. He brushed the dirt off from his shirt, exhaling slowly before replying “we were training, Dean.”
“You were grinding all over each other.” He sneered back.
“We were messing around.”
“Sure you were.” He replied easily “just saying, maybe tone it down unless youwantthe wrong kind of attention.”
That did it for me. I felt Matthew’s gaze on me as I backed away, even thought I heard him calling my name. I didn’t wait for him, fleeing off the field, heart hammering against my chest and tears stinging my eyes.
It wasn’t true. We were messing around. It wasn’t like that. He didn’t mean that. He’s on edge too.
It didn’t matter what I told myself . It didn’t help the pure anxiety bubbling through my body, clawing it’s way up my throat.
“Danes!Danes! Theo!”
My whole body tensed up. I clutched the fence, head bowed as I tried to heave air into my lungs, but it wouldn’t come. I couldn’tbreathe.
A hand touched my shoulder. My body jerked away on instinct, even more so when I saw who it was.
“Stay back.” I choked out, fighting back a sob “I mean it.Jesus,what do you think we're doing here? Huh?"
Matthew stared back at me through wide eyes, concern obvious but levelled with apprehension.
"We're not fucking boyfriend and girlfriend here." I spat "you're nothing but a warm mouth to me."
I watched the hurt flash across Matthew's face, watched as he took a step back.
"Jeez." He said back, jaw clenching "sorry for giving a shit."
I just snorted. All I could hear was Dean's voice in the back of my mind. The taunting tone.
"He’s not serious, Theo." Matthew murmured, gaze lowered to the ground, as if reading my thoughts “he’s just stressed about Stryker, he didn’t mean it.”
"Doesn't change anything." I spat "you're getting ahead of yourself."
"Yeah. Clearly." Matthew spat back “but you didn’t seem to care the other night, did you? Or before that? What iswrongwith you? You can’t- you can’t keep switching up fucking personalities everyfive seconds.And it’s not all my fault, Theo. I didn’t rape you.Youwanted-”
