“You miss him?”
“Every day.”For so many years, they’d been all each other had.“Don’t get me wrong, it was no fairytale.I think we both knew we’d made a rod for our backs.The way we’d left?We had to be together.We couldn’t go back and tell everyone they were right all along.”
“Were you unhappy?”
“Spence was… His heart was always in the right place; he gave up a lot to be with me.”
“And you didn’t give up a lot?”
There was a stark difference between their worlds and motivations.One she’d identified early on.
“It’s probably easier for you to imagine his situation.”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” she said, combing her fingers through her hair, spreading it out.“He grew up in privilege, with money, opportunity, there was a respect he was always granted.He commanded a room until… I took something from him.Something he’d never get back.”
“It wasn’t on you.He was a grown—”
He faltered and though her lips curled, she closed her eyes.“You can say it.You’re not the first.He was a grown man and I was a child.”
“If you left at seventeen, you were younger when it started.”
“It’s a jigsaw, right?Like every relationship.Which piece came first?Where was the first connection?The last?Though most relationships aren’t scrutinized the way mine was.Yeah, he was older, much older, and sometimes it did feel like… He had an authority that came with the confidence of experience.I didn’t have that.Sometimes I was guilty of deferring.”Sometimes?“But when that man spoke…”
No, she didn’t regret it.Being with Spence was a privilege.He’d given her so much and… In retrospect, it was easy to romanticize every moment.That wasn’t realistic.She couldn’t turn him into some kind of saint when he was anything but.
“I’m sorry you lost him so young,” he said.“Sounds like the kind of relationship the rest of us search for our whole lives.”
And there it was, the proof she hadn’t told the whole truth.
“The end is never the same as the beginning,” she said.That was honest, though wasn’t explicit.“Living with a man.Marrying him and putting your faith in him, it’s not always smart.”Sitting up, she hooked an arm over the back of the couch to keep herself upright.“I believed things I shouldn’t have believed.Trusted when I should’ve been vigilant.”
He frowned.“What does that mean?”
“Something else you can identify with,” she said.“It’s not smart to get all your news from one source.Crosscheck for credibility, right?”
“Right.”And the crease in his brow stayed put.“He cheated on you?”
Here was a man who could read between the lines.She slid her upper arm closer until her fingers curled above her temple.
“Frequently,” she admitted to him something only one other breathing person knew.“You fall for it.”That wasn’t fair.“I fell for it.I was inexperienced, couldn’t do things he needed, or I was too precious for those acts.”
“Is that what he told you?Classic bullshit.”
“Maybe.”She shrugged.“He wasn’t completely wrong.I didn’t know what I was doing in bed.”
“That’s normal for someone your age.”
What had he learned with Teagan?
Cam’s life was so different to hers.Though they were both dramatic in their own ways.
“I guess.”
The truth didn’t heal all wounds.Learning the man she loved was unfaithful wasn’t made any easier by his explanation.He’d only done it because she lacked, he needed something he could only get from other women.
“You learn together or you walk away.”Cam seemed to sense her shame.“He knew what he was getting into.If he wanted someone with experience, he shouldn’t have ripped you from your life.”
