Bracing, she curled her fingers around his just above her knee.“You lost the woman you loved, your child—”
“Teagan and I were hot and heavy, but we weren’t star-crossed lovers.We were dumb teenagers who didn’t think about the future—”
“Or thought you knew everything.”She smiled.“Back then, I never understood why people didn’t get it.I was sure I loved Spencer, why would anyone doubt me?”
“Architecture was the only thing I was sure about.My parents tried to talk me around until they gave up.I’m happy.They see that now and I don’t regret my choice.”
Of profession?Of location?Of love?
That look in his eye.The question.
“I’ve asked myself that.”She focused on their twined digits.“Do I regret it?”
Silence hung for a moment.
“Do you?”
The trust of his sharing made it easier to open up.
“No,” she said.“It was difficult sometimes, but what relationship isn’t?Though it definitely didn’t turn out the way I thought.”
“What does turn out the way we think?”he finished for her.“His family ousted you?”
“They ousted both of us around the same time we left the country.No one knew until then.The Raiths had no idea, my parents, no one.We just got on a plane and… disappeared.”
“Your family must’ve been worried.Did you contact them to let them know you were okay?”
“Eventually.When they reported me missing, no one cared much.Who cares about a teenager running away from home?It was only after Spence called them that the shit hit the fan.”
“They went to the press?”
“No, actually, the institute did.Which, if you think about it, was kind of stupid on their part.Most of their funding came from the Raiths.They had a damn building named after them.”
“Someone at the top wouldn’t make that choice.Scandals spread fast.Rumors, unsubstantiated gossip, it gets to the media’s ear as soon as there’s a renowned name in the mix.”
She’d never found out the identity of the leaker.Spence got obsessed with it for a while though eventually decided it didn’t matter.They’d done enough to the reputation of the school without dragging it deeper with details.
“He was fighting battles on so many fronts.His family, my family, the press, the school, the police, the feds, everyone wanted something and he protected me from it all.”
“He loved you,” he said, a man who knew.“Leaving with you… fuck, that was a risk, he must’ve been in deep.”
“I trusted him completely.In my naïve innocence… He may have been older and wiser, but neither of us… I didn’t fully appreciate the risk he was taking, leaving with me.My parents eventually accepted us.His family never did.The way they spoke to him… It hurt him.He tried not to let me see it but… I knew.”
“And after he passed…?”
“They wanted nothing to do with me.I didn’t expect them to and, if I’m honest, I want nothing to do with them either.”
“You didn’t go back to your family?”
“I haven’t spoken to them in years.”
“They didn’t reach out to you after Spencer died?”
“Move forward, not back,” she said and sighed as she sank onto her back.“There’s nothing new to be learned from the past.That’s what Spence used to say.”A laugh rumbled in her throat.“He was so full of shit.”
“Did he love you?”Raising her head, she met his eye.“If he loved you, he wanted to give you hope.”
“He gave me so much more than that.”Her neck relaxed.“I learned who I was with him.We weren’t conventional, but we always made room for each other.I matured with him.Educated myself.Experienced the world.”
