“I’m not hiding. I’m protecting myself. There’s a difference.”
He straightens in his seat and points at my chest. “By confining your heart in a coffin trapped behind a huge wall of ice.”
“IfI’mhiding, what areyoudoing?” I retort, annoyed by his self-assured demeanor. He frowns, seeming confused by my question. “I read that you were supposed to star in the movie adaptation ofLost in your head. I know you’ve loved that book since it came out five years ago. I saw the interview in which you said it. Then why are you wasting time in New York?”
“It’s complicated.” He sighs, running a hand through his silver hair. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“See?You’rehiding.” I lean back in my chair. “You’re scared of something awaiting you in London. What it is, I can only speculate. Be it a fear of disappointing others by failing or the incredible pressure on your shoulders. You’re scared and hiding in a city bigger than yourself.”
He stiffens, his tone dropping down an octave. “What would you know about the importance of acting in a movie that might get nominated for an Oscar? It’s terrifying to know that every big shot will judge your performance if you fuck up. Imagine failing a role in the movie adaptation of your favorite novel. You don’t get it.”
Behind that act of confident, big movie star, hides a man frightened of not achieving his dreams.
The higher you climb, the harsher the fall.
I won’t tell him that he’s sitting right across from the author of his favorite novel, though. It could potentially help him feel more at ease if he knew that the literal creator of his favorite novel believes in his talent.
But he needs to find the strength on his own.
“You’re right. Maybe I don’t get it, but you’re an amazing actor, Aiden.” I eye his body language, wondering if I took it too far earlier. “You know it, and I know it. Your fans know it. Your entire crew knows it, and that’s why everyone believes in you.”
“You sure know how to give a pep talk, hmm?” He chuckles, offering me a genuine smile. “Thank you and sorry. I was being rude for insinuating that your job didn’t hold as much value.”
I watch him take a sip out of his mug, a sheepish smile lingering on his lips. “Don’t worry about it. I should’ve been offended, but honestly, I’m not. You speak from a place of ignorance, but that’s not entirely your fault. You’ll change your mind soon enough.”
I’m not confident inmyself, but I know damn right that as anauthor, I’m incredible. My books are perfectly crafted, each word, each phrase, and character were chosen with precision and purpose. No one can make me doubt my literary aptitude.
“Since you were at Frank’s party, I can assume you work in the publishing industry.”
I nod. “I’m an author.”
“How come I’ve never heard about you or your books?” he asks, his gaze drifting from my hand on the table, to my lips. “You’re awfully confident about this. Can’t fault me for being curious now, can you?”
“I write under a pen name”, I say, ignoring his subtle flirting. “Didn’t really feel like using my real name. It seemed too personal.”
“Fair enough.” He watches me attentively before leaning back in his chair. “I’m actually really curious, but I know you won’t tell me more even if I begged you to.”
“You’re right about that.”
“You’re kind of a jerk, you know?”
I snort and slap a hand over my mouth, embarrassed by the sound that just left me. “You’re one to talk.”
“I’m not a jerk, though,” he counters, taking a sip of his latte. “Andrewdefinitely is.”
Cocking a brow at him, I tap my fingers on the table. “Why do you dislike him? He seemed pretty sweet to me.”
“Sweet?” he scoffs loudly and smacks the table. “He’s a spoiled brat with a shitty attitude. His brother keeps trying to steer him toward the right path, but the brat can’t help doing whatever the hell he wants instead.”
He’s not entirely wrong, but I think he’s just stubborn and won’t back down until he gets what he wants.
Is that the attitude of a spoiled brat?
Yes, it is, but in his case it’s endearing.
“Don’t bad mouth him,” I say, feeling oddly protective of him. “He’s young and stubborn. Many would argue those are positive traits in a man.”
“Don’t tell me you like him.” His expression drops and leaves room to annoyance and disbelief. “You shouldn’t trust him, Aoi. Sure, he looks all cute and innocent, but I can assure you he’s anything but that.”
