I don’t stroll around the city often, meaning I have to take out my phone and use my GPS to find my way like a freaking tourist. After walking for at least ten minutes, I finally arrive in front of the purple washed-out awning of the coffee shop.
Considering it’s a Saturday, I’m surprised at how empty the place is. As I step inside, I catch a glimpse of Aiden sitting on a dark wooden chair and we make eye contact.
He gets up and greets me warmly, pulling me into a hug. I’m taken aback at first, and since the waitress is staring at us, I slowly detach myself from him. We take our seats, and he orders us some pastries and two latte macchiatos with oat milk in mine.
Aiden focuses his attention wholly on me. “Glad you could make it.”
“Thank you for rescheduling. I didn’t think I’d sleep through my alarm,” I say, apologetically.
He chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. I freed up the entire day to be with you.”
“That wasn’t necessary.”
“It was,” he says, reaching for my hand and caressing the back of it with his thumb. “I rented out the place for the next two hours so we wouldn’t be interrupted by fans and paparazzi.”
That explains the lack of customers.
“I agreed to this simply to show you my gratitude for your help. Nothing else,” I say, slipping my hand out of his.
“You’re so cold, Aoi. I was just trying to become your friend.”
Friend, my ass.
It’s clear he has dirty thoughts dancing around his mind. Whatever he thinks could happened between us is going to stay in his dreams because I’m done buzzing around men like bees on flowers.
I’m a grown man for fuck’s sake. I can’t keep fucking around with whichever man I find attractive.
“Friendship, hmm?” I muse, pointing a finger at him. “That’s quite the innocent concept for someone like you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” he shoots back, and I can feel his gaze piercing a hole through my face. “What kind of person doyouthink I am?”
I offer the waitress, interrupting our conversation, a simple thanks and take a sip of my scorching hot latte. “You really want to know?”
He nods.
“You’re the kind of man who acts all confident and self-assured but deep down you crave intimacy. The issue is, if you want intimacy, you need to show vulnerability and open up to someone. Except all you do, is joke around and act like a cocky bastard. You want what you can’t get, that’s why you keep buggingme. Because you know damn well I’m emotionally unavailable.” I pick a vegan cookie among the pastries. “You like a good chase, knowing that nothing will come out of it in the end. Easy and fun. But you want more, and you’re scared of what that would mean for the image you crafted to protect your heart.”
He stares at me, his smile withered. For a second, a glimmer of hurt flashes through his silver irises and guilt swarms over me.
I lower my head at the cookie and chew silently. “You asked for it. Don’t get mad at me now.”
“I’m not mad, I’m just…surprised. I didn’t expect that.” He tilts his head, resting it on his palm. “Maybe you’re right. But is it so wrong of me? Don’t you feel the same?”
I look up at him, noticing the vulnerability in his gaze, despite his flirtatious smirk. “I don’t think it’s wrong at all. Intimacy isbeautiful in all its forms and it’s human to desire it. I simply avoid it like the pest.”
“Because you fear it?”
“I don’tfearanything.”
“Then why are you hiding?”
I scoff as if the answer is obvious. “Intimacy requires trust. Trust leads to betrayal and pain. I don’t see the point in getting hurt over the microscopic chance of meeting someone good that won’t leave one way or another.”
He stays silent, eyeing me, awaiting more.
The truth.
He won’t get it. I’ll never admit it.
