“I heard enough.” Her voice cracks. “You were praying about shame. About me?—”
“Not you?—”
“I heard you say my name?—”
“Because I'm ashamed of myself!” The words explode out of me.
She goes still.
I drag my hand through my hair, antlers catching in my grip. My chest is heaving.
“The shame, the unworthiness—it’s me, Lumi.”
My voice drops to something broken. “Not you. Never you, lúmina’ka.Me.”
Confusion flickers across her face.
“I don't...” she shakes her head. “I don't understand.”
“I came in my thrahking pants,” I force out. “Without you even touching me.”
The words hang between us like a confession.
Her brow furrows.
“That... that’s what this whole thing was about?”
“You don't understand.” I can't look at her, can't meet those bloodshot eyes. “I've waited so long for you. Thousands of years to prove that I could be the male you deserve. The protector. The?—”
My voice stutters.
“I wanted to give you everything. I wanted to prove I was worthy of you. Of your trust. Of your claim.” I gesture helplessly at my antler. “Instead, I fell apart the second you marked me. What kind of mate does that make me?”
She stares at me, completely silent for what seems like hours.
“Are you serious right now?”
I blink. “What?”
“Andrik.” She steps closer. “You think I'm upset because you finished? Because you were that turned on by me marking you?”
My jaw works. “It was weak?—”
“It was hot.” She cuts me off. Her cheeks flush, and I can scent the shift from shame to arousal.
“Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Knowing I affected you that much? That just carving?—”
She breaks off, shaking her head.
“But now I'm wondering...” Her voice goes quiet. “Was that even you wanting me? Or was it just the bond? Just your instinctual reaction to the heat?”
My chest tightens. “What?”
“You said it yourself.” Her arms cross over her chest. “You waited thousands of years. The bond recognized me. Your body recognized me.” She's looking everywhere but at me. “But what about you, Andrik. Not the beast. Not the bond. Just... you.”
“Lumi, that's not?—”
“Because it felt real.” Her voice shakes. “When you touched me. When you marked me. It felt like you wanted me but now?—”
