She carved her name into me, trusted me with her body, her pleasure—and I couldn't even last.
I couldn't give her what she deserved without losing myself completely.
I've been on my knees for thalûn knows how long, whispering the same broken prayers over and over again.
“Skar’vesin kai’morin... tharûn ves’thral...” (I am ashamed... unworthy of holding you...)
“Kai'morin ael’tharûn... nai’kael veskarya...” (My heart failed. I am not worthy of you who marked me...)
I turn slowly, still on my knees, and the sight of her guts me.
She's wearing my shirt. It swallows her, hanging off one shoulder, falling past her knees like a dress.
Her hair is damp, her skin is flushed from the bath. And her eyes?—
They shatter me.
She's been crying.
“Saelûn,” my voice cracks.
She takes a step back.
The single movement cracks my chest wide open.
“You don't have to explain,” she whispers. Her arms wrap around herself. “I understand.”
“Understand? I'm on my feet before I can get the word out. “Lumi, what?—”
“I heard you.” Her voice shakes. “Praying. About your... shame.”
My chest tightens. “Yes. My shame?—”
“I get it, Andrik.” Her gaze falls to the floor. “It was the bond. The heat. You didn't mean for it to go that far, and now you don't know how you feel about me, you don't?—”
“What?”
She thinks?—
Oh gods, she thinks I regret her.
“Lumi, no.”
“It's okay.” But her voice breaks on the words. “I shouldn't have pushed. I shouldn't have?—”
“Stop.” The word comes out harsher than I mean it to.
She flinches.
I take a breath and try again.
“Lumi, you don't—that’s not—” My hands flex at my sides. “I wasn't?—”
“Andrik. Really, it's fine.” She's backing towards the hallway now, and I can't help the panic that flares through me. “We just need some space to?—”
“No.” I'm in front of her before she can retreat further.
“Thal’vesin, Saelûn. Please. Just—just listen.”
