“I can see you’re overwhelmed,” she said, her voice real calm. “Divorce is a difficult process, especially when there’s still love involved. Why don’t you tell me what brought you here?”
The words got stuck behind my teeth. I stared down at my hands, pickin’ at my nails like I always did when my nerves got bad.
“My husband… Kay’Lo… he stepped out,” I finally said, my voice crackin’ but not breakin’. “He had sex with somebody else, and once that line get crossed, it ain’t no comin’ back from it.”
She nodded slow. “Infidelity is a painful breach of trust. I understand why you feel separation is the safest choice for you right now. Have you two discussed counseling or taking time apart instead?”
“We been apart,” I whispered. “For over a month. And I ain’t… I ain’t got nothin’ left to say to him. Every time I think about what we been through, I realize I can’t do this no more.”
She gave me time to wipe my face again ‘cause the tears was fallin’ even though I wasn’t sobbin’. They just slid out ‘cause the hurt was still spillin’ out of me whether I wanted it to or not.
“All right,” she said softly. “If divorce is the path you want to take, we’ll move forward. I’ll explain the basics so you know exactly what you’re walking into.”
I nodded.
She leaned forward. “First, we will file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. That document will state that you’re seeking a divorce, and we will file it with the district clerk. Once filed, your husband must be formally served.“
My stomach dipped. The idea of Kay’Lo gettin’ served made my head swim. “How long that take?”
“Once we file, he can be served as soon as the process server reaches him. Sometimes the same day, sometimes a few days later.”
I bit at my lip, my voice shakin’. “So he gon’ get served soon.”
“Yes,” she said gently. “And once he is, the clock starts. He’ll have a set number of days to respond. After that, we begin the negotiation process—property, accounts, anything shared. Because you don’t have children yet, that simplifies things a little. But emotionally, I know it doesn’t feel simple at all.”
I nodded again, even though my throat felt tight as hell.
She kept talkin’ me through it, breakin’ down what she needed from me, what she’d handle and how I could expect things to unfold over the next few months. Every word felt heavier than the last ‘cause it made everything feel real, like I wasn’t just hurt anymore. I was officially lettin’ go of the life I built with a man who once made me feel like the safest person in the world.
When it was time to sign the retainer, my hand shook. Attorney Bishop placed a tissue beside me and didn’t rush me. She waited until I gathered the lil’ strength I had and put my name on that line.
“There,” she said softly. “You’ve taken the first step. You did something incredibly hard today.”
I ain’t feel strong. I felt like I was fallin’ apart without makin’ a sound, but I nodded anyway ‘cause I didn’t have the energy to argue.
Sha’Nelle stood up the second I walked out into the lobby. Her face fell when she saw how I looked. “Come on, cousin. Let’s get you home.”
The car ride felt long but quiet. She ain’t talk unless I started first and I didn’t start at all. I just watched Trill-Land blur by the window like life was movin’ faster than I could keep up.
When we got back to the mansion, I went straight upstairs. My room felt too big, too cold and too full of memories that kept tryin’ to crawl back into my spirit even though I was fightin’ ‘em off. I looked around like I was supposed to already know what to pack, what to take and what to leave. None of it made sense, and none of it felt right.
I pulled open my closet and touched the hangers he used to slide his clothes through when he’d get dressed in the mornin’. The faint smell of his cologne still lived in the fabric of my clothes. My fingers shook as I pulled a suitcase from the shelf, but the second I unzipped it the tears showed up again, heavy and uncontrollable.
I tried to blink them back but my knees gave out and I ended up sittin’ on the closet floor with my hand over my mouth ‘cause I ain’t wanna scream. I didn’t wanna fall apart like this, not after signin’ papers sayin’ I was strong enough to leave Kay’Lo.
Lovin’ Kay’Lo was the easiest thing I ever did in my life, and lettin’ him go felt like dyin’ slow.
I sat there cryin’ into my hands, feelin’ my whole world shift even though I ain’t want it to, knowin’ that once he got served… there wasn’t no turnin’ back.
The Lennox Residence
While I waited for Kay’Lo to text me, letting me know he was back at the suite, I sat on the phone with Dream, just venting about this whole crazy ass situation I was in, because nobody else in my life would even understand a man like him. I was stretched across my bed with my bonnet halfway off, and my foot dangling off the edge as I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out how the hell I had let myself get dragged into something this confusing. Dream was quiet on her end, letting me talk because she already knew once I got started it was hard for me to stop.
“I’m tellin’ you right now, sis, I don’t know what to do with this man,” I said as I rolled over onto my side and grabbed my pillow. “We been fucking for weeks and that’s literally all wedo. It feel good, don’t get me wrong, but it feel like something missing. It feel like I’m the only one tryna pull us into something real.”
Dream made a noise like she already knew where this was going. “Missing how? What you mean something missing?”
“I mean it’s like he is there but he ain’t fully there. Like he be holding back. And he don’t even eat pussy or let me suck his dick, Dream. What grown ass man do that? I tried to suck it twice and he went soft. Twice, bitch. That shit don’t make no sense.”
