I played spades. I laughed when I was supposed to, and I acted unbothered.
But the truth was, I had never felt more unsure about how to love the woman I loved the most, and that shit scared me more than I would ever admit out loud.
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
The next night…
By the time I made it to the crib, it was damn near midnight, and the streets was quiet. I rolled up in myLamborghini Huracán, the engine purrin’ low as I eased through the gates.
I parked next to a couple of my other whips and sat there for a second with my hands on the wheel, just breathin’, ‘cause the whole ride home my head had been loud as hell even though the music stayed low.
Everything with Toni been sittin’ on me heavy. I wasn’t mad at her, but I was hurt in a way that made me cautious, and that caution didn’t feel like me at all.
I cut the engine and stepped out, the night air cool against my skin, and by the time I hit the front door and pushed it open, I wasn’t prepared for what I walked into.
Toni was already standin’ right there like she had been waitin’ on me.
She had on this red lingerie that didn’t leave shit to the imagination. It was sheer in all the right places and clingy like it was made just for her body. The fabric showed off her pretty chocolate legs. They was long, smooth and strong, and I couldn’t help but think about how they always wrapped around me like they was built to hold a nigga in place. Her hips was full, sittin’ perfect on that slim waist, and her stomach was flat and soft lookin’, the kind you wanna lay your face on just to feel it rise and fall. Her titties sat high in the lace, full and heavy andnipples showin’ through just enough to make my jaw tighten even though I told myself not to react.
She looked good as fuck.
Right now, she was that dangerous type of good that made a nigga forget what he was mad about in the first place. Her hair was laid simple, skin glowin’ like she had just stepped out the shower, and when she took a step toward me, the way she smelled hit me next, warm and sweet with somethin’ deeper underneath it that always made my head spin.
I stayed where I was though.
I ain’t step back, but I ain’t move forward either, ‘cause my pride was still bruised and my heart was still sore even if my body was reactin’ like it always did around her. Toni closed the space between us and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressin’ herself into me like she always do, and I let her ‘cause pushin’ her away would’ve been a lie.
I rested my hands low on her back but didn’t pull her in the way I normally would, and I could feel her notice it ‘cause she went still for a second before relaxin’ again like she wasn’t finna give up that easy.
“I love you,” she said soft, her voice right against my chest, and that shit landed heavy ‘cause it wasn’t me sayin’ it first this time.
I looked down at her, seein’ the way her lashes fluttered when she lifted her face, and seein’ the apology sittin’ in her eyes before she even spoke it.
“I’m sorry,” she added, slow and sincere. “I know I hurt you.”
I ain’t answer right away ‘cause I ain’t trust my mouth, and Toni knew me well enough to keep goin’ without pushin’.
Her hand slid up my back slow, rubbin’ circles between my shoulders like she was tryna soothe somethin’ deeper than just tension. Then her fingers went to the back of my neck,scratchin’ lightly, and that touch alone almost had me groanin’ ‘cause she knew exactly where to hit me.
“I been thinkin’ about you,” she said quietly. “About us. About how I made you feel.”
Her hand slipped under my shirt then, her skin warm against mine, her palm movin’ over my abs like she was remindin’ me she still knew every inch of me. I clenched my jaw and looked away for half a second ‘cause my body was already foldin’ on me, and I hated how easy she made the shit.
She pressed closer, her chest against me, and her breath warm on my neck. “You still my husband,” she murmured. “Ain’t nobody else ever gon’ be you.”
That did it.
I felt my resolve crack right there, and then felt my hands tighten on her hips without me even thinkin’ about it. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my jawline first, soft and lingerin’, then my chin, her lips movin’ slow like she was takin’ her time with me. When she finally kissed my mouth, I held out for about two seconds before I gave in, my lips partin’ and my hands slidin’ up her body like muscle memory had took over.
The kiss got deeper and heavier, and before I realized what I was doin’, I had backed her up against the wall right by the front door, my body blockin’ her in and my presence fillin’ up the space like it always did. I pressed my forehead to hers, my breath heavy and my heart beatin’ too fast for a nigga who swore he was tryna stay strong.
I ain’t say nothin’.
I just stood there with her pinned between me and the wall, my hands firm on her hips, my mouth hoverin’ over hers, ‘cause the want was loud and the love was still there and the hurt hadn’t gone nowhere either.
And that was exactly where I stopped, right on that edge, with my wife lookin’ at me like she needed me just as bad as Ineeded her, and both of us knowin’ that once I crossed that line, there wasn’t no turnin’ back.
A nigga was tryna be cool ‘cause I ain’t really know how far I wanted to take this shit. At the same time my dick was hard and not gettin’ soft no time soon.
