“Pluto, I told yo’ ass to stay the fuck out that shit!” he shouted, making me damn near jump out my skin.
His voice hit the walls hard, and I felt that guilt rise again because I already knew I had messed up. I didn’t need him yelling for me to feel it. I had been feeling it since the moment everything blew up. I never meant for my words to take root theway they did. I never meant for Toni to take it that far. I never meant for Kay’Lo to be away from his wife this long. I never meant to be part of the reason that whole situation fell apart. But everything had spiraled, and I had been sitting in that guilt for months praying it would fix itself.
“I told you,” Pressure continued, pointing at the floor like the argument was literally laid out right there. “I told you to stay out they marriage. I told you that wasn’t yo’ fuckin’ place. I told you this shit was gon’ blow up, but yo’ ass don’t listen. You think everything gotta be said out loud.”
I lifted my hands slightly because I didn’t want him thinking I was about to match his energy. “Pressure, I wasn’t tryna hurt nobody. I thought I was doing the right thing. If you were out with another woman, I’d want somebody to tell me. I wasn’t about to just sit on that like it was nothing.”
He threw his hands up. “And that’s the problem. You think you Toni superhero. You think you gotta fix everything she cry about. That’s not yo’ marriage, Pluto. That’s not yo’ fight. You don’t get involved in some shit like that ‘cause now look!”
My voice cracked even though I wasn’t crying. “But I watched him leave with her. What was I supposed to think?”
“You supposed to do what the fuck I told you to do,” he snapped, stepping toward me with that cold anger in his eyes I rarely ever saw. “Which was stay out of it. If Toni wanted the truth she would’ve asked him. You jumped in and added gas to a fire that wasn’t even yours to control.”
I swallowed because everything in me wanted to explain myself but nothing I said was going to calm him down right now.
“It wasn’t even like that,” I tried. “I wasn’t trying to stir shit. I wasn’t tryna be messy. I just didn’t wanna be fake.”
Pressure tilted his head. “You think I’m askin’ you to be fake? I’m askin’ you to respect boundaries. I’m askin’ you to respect the fact that marriages go through shit, and that ain’t yo’ placeto diagnose or expose. Now look what happened. Kay’Lo crazy as fuck, Toni cryin’ every other day, and I’m in the this bitch knockin out my cousin ‘cause he talkin crazy to you. Now the nigga shootin’ all the windows out my damn cars! You got me out here fightin’ blood behind somethin’ that ain’t have shit to do with you. Lord have mercy, girl.”
My stomach twisted hard because I could tell he hated that part the most. Pressure would go to war for the people he loved, but hurting Kay’Lo was never supposed to be on that list. Watching him replay that punch in his mind felt like watching him regret it in real time.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I really am. I wasn’t tryna put you in that position.”
“Well, fuckin’ congratulations, Pluto,” he muttered, rubbing his face. “Because that’s exactly what you did.”
He shook his head like the whole situation disgusted him, grabbed his phone off the dresser and walked straight out the room without another word. The door didn’t slam, but the silence afterward felt louder than if he had kicked it shut.
I stood there with my hands wrapped around my arms, feeling smaller by the second. I didn’t follow him because I knew better. Pressure wasn’t the type to handle conflict messy or dramatic, but when he was really mad at me, he got quiet, and the quiet always said more than the yelling did. My stomach felt twisted into a knot because for the first time, I was the one he didn’t want around.
Hours passed and I just let him have time to himself because every attempt I made to walk near him got ignored with a short answer or no answer at all. When he finally came upstairs, he didn’t even look in my direction. He just went into the bathroom, took a shower, came out with a towel around his waist, grabbed his lotion, put on his briefs, and got in the bed without saying anything.
He didn’t even shower with me, and he always showered with me.
I took my own shower after, moving slow because my chest felt tight from the whole day. By the time I came out with my bonnet on and lotion on my legs, he already had his back turned. That alone made something inside me sink because Pressure never slept turned away from me unless he was really hurt or mad.
I got in the bed carefully, watching his shoulders rise and fall. He didn’t flinch, shift or acknowledge me at all. It felt like trying to get warmth from a blanket that wasn’t there.
I slid a little closer, hoping he’d soften. When he didn’t, I let my arm reach over his waist. My palm brushed his abs, slow and gentle, because that usually made him exhale and pull me into him, but he stayed still. I let my hand drift lower, slipping into his briefs just enough to wrap my hand around him.
As soon as I did, he mumbled, “Not tonight.”
My whole body went still.
Pressure had never denied me. Not ever…Not once…
His voice wasn’t mean or aggressive, but it was firm, and that firmness felt like the biggest punishment of all.
“Why?” I whispered, my hand still resting on his dick.
“You know why,” he said lowly, not turning around.
I sighed, my chest aching. “Baby, I said I’m sorry.”
“And I heard you,” he said, his tone low but not soft. “But you still not gettin’ no dick tonight, so go on head and snuggle without all that extra.”
My mouth fell open a little because for him to say it like that, serious and petty at the same time, I didn’t even know if I wanted to laugh or cry. He pulled the covers up and adjusted the pillow like he was settling into his inner diva moment.
I moved closer again and rested my forehead against his back. “Pressure…”
