My mouth twitched into a half smile. “Cillian, we’re both guys who love a good fuck. We’ve never liked attachments in the past, have we? Sex is sex and feelings are... something else. I’m not going to lecture you. I don’t give a shit if we put a name on it or not. We can fuck without calling it a relationship, but you can’t pretend it wasn’t there before Vail came along.” I shrugged. “Fuck. Even I can admit I’ve always thought you were attractive. I’ve wanted to fuck you longer than I’m willing to admit.”
His jaw tightened, and I sighed. When I shifted to stand, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me onto the bed again. I fell against his chest, and he grabbed my face, slamming his mouth on mine in a rough kiss. I let him eat my lips, sucking them eagerly. He harrumphed when I pushed his back against the bed, and I chuckled into our kiss.
“Don’t worry, I won’t try and fuck you. We can just lie like this and kiss, right? Or are you too scared of me being on top?” I teased.
“Feck off, mate. Ye tool.” He grinned, though, and cupped his hand to the back of my head. He spread his legs and his half-hard dick slapped against his abs. I settled between his knees, resting my chest against his, and we kissed again.
I grabbed his hips, holding him tight as I pushed my tongue past his lips, conquering the warmth of his mouth. His taste was addicting and I couldn’t get enough. How long had Ireallythought about fucking him? Close to the beginning we’d decided sex between us wouldn’t work, but the desire to have him had never gone away. I had no idea when the craving for him began to get out of control, but the realization that things could be different started when Vail came into our lives.
He rutted his dick against me, and I chuckled, patting his thigh.
“You know....” I ran my thumb over his cheek, and he chomped his teeth at it, like he wanted to bite it. “If you’re not that comfortable bottoming, we could start with you fucking me.”
He froze and narrowed his eyes. “Are ye fecking kidding?”
“No, I’m completely serious.” I shrugged. “I prefer to top, but bottoming isn’t a death sentence.”
He punched my shoulder, hard, and I grunted in both surprise and pain. “Ye were fecking okay with bottoming this entire time? I could’ve been fucking ye these last two weeks, ye twat.” He shoved me, and I laughed as I fell on my back on the mattress beside him. He got to his knees, full-blown glare focused on me. “I could’ve been blowing me load into yer arse the moment we left the city. Ye complete twit.”
“Hey now, no need to call me names.” I laughed harder when he landed another punch on my other shoulder.
“Ye arse—”
I grasped his shoulders and spun him back onto the bed. He struggled, but I was bigger, and by the time we were done wrestling—with him throwing a few punches that missed—I had my chest planted against his back with us lying on our sides. He continued to wriggle in my arms, but I held him tightly around the waist.
“Go to sleep,” I said.
“What?” He grumped. “Move.” He tossed around, and I squeezed his middle. “Feck off, Aspen. I’m not the fecking wee spoon, all right? If we’re gonna cuddle, I’m the big fecking spoon.”
I removed one arm to slap his ass, and he went still, a small gasp escaping his mouth. “I said go to sleep.”
He let out a breath and turned his face toward me, cheeks so red they were nearly on fire. “If ye do that again—”
“What are you going to do?” I teased. “Call Vail to whine like a little bitch?”
“Ye fecker.” He shifted to elbow me, but I grabbed his arm to stop him. I laughed and that only instigated a rougher struggle from him. Another slap to the ass had him growling out words I pretended not to hear. Rowen would head straight to church and confess his sins if he’d ever uttered half of what Cillian said, and that made me laugh even harder.
“Stop. Stop.” I kissed his cheek softly, and he calmed, huffing. “Come on, I’m serious. You said you were having trouble sleeping, and last night you slept because I was in here, but not as well as you could have. No one needs to know. Just let me hold you.”
“Fine. Butno onefinds out I was the wee spoon.” He sighed and touched his arm to mine, settling against my chest. Now that we’d stopped wrestling, the silence was perfect and peaceful. The weight of the world had disappeared for the night, and right now, there was only me and him. And in the Hamptons, there was Vail, Fallon, and Rowen, probably thinking about us like we were them. I’d grown used to sleeping in the bed with four other men—and having either Fallon or Vail the rest of the time. It was strange to only have Cillian. The bed felt... empty.
“Sleep,” I whispered.
I’ve got youwas left unsaid. He already knew. I would always have his back, no matter what.
* * *
The next morning the bedroom door slammed open and bounced off the wall behind it. I shot to my feet, reaching for a knife that I didn’t have on me, since I wasn’t sleeping in my own room. Cillian jumped up, still naked but fists at the ready to fight if needed. The moment we both set eyes on Jamie, we relaxed.
Jamie, however, appeared anything but calm. His hair was messy in a way that told me he’d just woken up, and his gaze was wild and furious. Regardless of the state of his hair, he was dressed in a clean, pressed suit, shoes freshly polished, and jaw free of stubble.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, immediately on alert. My shoulders tensed.
“Break’s over before it began,” Jamie hissed, sliding his hand down his tie. “The Reyes Cartel found one of our cash houses and hit it in retaliation. They took AK-47s into the shop and lit it up, killing nearly everyone inside. The cops are there. Sloan called. We need to go check it out, now, while keeping a distance from the boys with the badges.”
“Motherfeckers.” Cillian slammed a closed fist against his palm.
I held up a hand to Jamie. “Give us ten to get dressed and then we’ll be downstairs.”
