Rowen was different from us, and he didn’t understand the way Cillian’s mind worked. To Rowen, looking at someone else was cheating, and when we’d spent the night having sex beside Sloan and Conall at a party, not once did he look at our boss and his pet, as though he would betray Vail by doing it. Whereas Cillian and Ilookedand we relished the sight of Sloan fucking Conall. They were beautiful and no one could deny that. Vail and Fallon watched them as well, and just because we could admit someone else was sexy as fuck, that didn’t mean we loved any of our guys less. We had them and that’s all we needed.
For Cillian and me, being in a relationship was a huge deal. From the moment we’d met each other, we’d shared men and women. We’d fucked our way through New York City and the Hamptons, and we had no regrets. Choosing to be faithful to Vail and Fallon was a big decision, but one we’d made with commitment. So yeah, if I could trust Cillian with my life, I could trust him not to betray us by fucking someone else.
“Go lie down on the bed,” I murmured, staring down at his wet body, which he was currently drying off. I’d been waiting in my boxers for him in his bedroom, in the armchair near the wide arched window. He’d walked out of the connected bathroom, his body bare for my gaze to devour. Droplets of water slid down his hard chest and abs, and I was tempted to get on my knees and follow them with my tongue. His dick was nestled in dark brown curls, soft with the skin folded over the head. I’d always been intrigued by his uncut dick.
Cillian paused, surprised to see me, and tilted his head. “If ye think ye’re gonna fuck me—”
I rolled my eyes and stood abruptly, cutting him off. “You said you wanted more aloe on your sunburn. Get on the bed, Cillian, and then we’ll sleep.”
He shrugged and finished drying off before he threw the towel to the floor and crawled onto the bed. It was hard to keep my eyes off his ass because it was so muscular and bitable. His hole peeked out between his cheeks as he wriggled onto the mattress and I wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose, but my dick filled at the sight. The redness on his skin was starting to heal, and even though I didn’t put it there, it looked good on his ass. One day I would have to try to spank him; although, I had a feeling that wouldn’t go well.
He dropped onto the mattress face-first, and I walked over to him, sitting on the bed beside his thigh. I grabbed the aloe from the nightstand and squeezed a generous amount onto his naked back. Cillian hissed and shoved his face into the pillow.
Smoothing the green gel over his tender flesh, I worked in silence for a few minutes. Cillian and I weren’t the type of men who had unnecessary conversations. We could read each other well enough already, and anything to do with emotions was useless as far as we were concerned, but I could see the battle happening in his mind.
Before Vail, I would’ve ignored his issues and let him figure them out on his own, but we’d both been a lot more open since Vail had come into our lives, and Fallon required conversations, so I had been getting used to talking. Slowly, but surely, we were exposing more about our feelings. I fucking hated it, but I worried for Cillian. Finding him at the cabaret, drinking away whatever he was feeling, sobered me some to what I needed to do. Pushing and challenging him like I always did wasn’t helping the situation. In this moment, I wished Vail was here to offer his shoulder for Cillian, but he wasn’t, and only I could do something about him right now.
Want to talk about it?
That wouldn’t help.
Hell, that would make the situation worse.
As much as Cillian was honest and straightforward, when it came to getting him to open up, asking direct questions would have the opposite effect. No, I needed to be subtle, without treating him like he was an idiot, which he definitely wasn’t.
I rubbed my hand over his right shoulder, and he groaned, wincing under the massage. “It has been a while since you’ve been to the cabaret.”
He grunted. “Aye, so? Been a while since I’ve been to Miami.”
“If any of the Reyes Cartel jackasses knew you were there, they could’ve killed you.” I dropped a hand to the top of his spine and worked the heel of my palm into it, and his groans grew a little louder. “You should’ve taken me to watch your back.”
He mumbled something I couldn’t hear.
“What did you say?” I dug my fingers into the middle of his spine, and he let out a shout of pain.
Cillian glared over his shoulder. “I said ye’re the bloody problem.”
“Oh yeah? How?” I smirked at him and that only managed to make his glare deepen.
“Ye fecking know how. Don’t be asking me stupid questions.” He shoved his face back into the pillow and dug his arms under it, firmly using it as a shield. No matter what he used for armor, I would always break through. I was an unyielding blade, created to carve through the layers of reinforced walls he’d built around himself. No matter how long it took, I would persevere until he relented, because that’s what we did with each other. We pushed and pulled until someone gave in.
“Are you that worried about me trying to fuck you?” I chuckled and softened my massage because while Cillian enjoyed everything a bit rough at times, he also took pleasure in gentle touches, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Every so often, he wanted to be taken care of instead of being the strong, no-bullshit Irishman who protected everyone he cared about. He could pretend Rowen frustrated him, but Cillian had been defending Rowen for most of his life.
“No. Yes. What the feck ever.” He slammed his hand on the bed beside the pillow in annoyance.
I chuckled and began to work his lower back, rubbing the aloe into the red and blistering skin, careful this time. Silence fell over us. When I got to his ass, he stiffened, but I ignored his crap and continued to rub the gel into the sunburn.
Cillian exhaled loudly and turned his head, laying his cheek on the pillow. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, but I didn’t say anything. Sometimes he needed the quiet to think, to process the words he wanted to say. Too often Cillian spoke harshly, and I’d learned it was his way of protecting himself. But when hewantedto have a serious conversation, he liked to take his time.
“It was fecking awesome sharing blokes and birds with ye. There weren’t any expectations between us. We were happy gettin’ off with each other by using others, ye know?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Why does anything need to fecking change?” He made a frustrated sound before he turned and sat on his ass. “It’s still the same, ain’t it? We’re sharing blokes. Fallon and Vail. We don’t need to change any of this.” He waved his hand between us.
“You’re right. It doesn’tneedto change.” I wiped my palms on the bed, removing the excess gel. “But it has changed, hasn’t it?Youstarted something new with me.Youdon’t like women flirting with me.”
He stared, brow furrowing in thought.
