I was beginning to agree with Jericho. Maybe Phoenix needed some one-on-one psychological help as well. While God could also lead him in the right direction, I wasn’t one of those men who forced religion on people.
“Making others happy shouldn’t come at the cost of your own well-being. Do you understand?”
“I think so.” He didn’t look too sure, though. He straightened and smiled, laying his hand on top of mine on his knee. “I would like to go back to college.”
“Good. That’s a good start, and we can do something about that. We’ll need to fill in some forms, I’m sure, and get you signed back up for classes, but that can be on our to-do list. We can start one and work off it.” I used my other hand to cup his cheek, and he leaned into my touch, pride glowing in his gaze.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
As sweet as he was, everything about him was masculine, from the slim muscles in his arms to the deeper voice. He had softer features than me, but even with the long hair, he’d never get confused with a woman. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of those nineties punk band members with his dark lashes and plump lips. All he needed was some eyeliner and he’d be set. He was also my type, or at least, the kind of man I enjoyed before I turned to God.
Fuck. It was dangerous to even stare at him, but I couldn’t look away.
“We should get ready for bed. We’ll have a big day tomorrow. I’ll call Father Malachi to take over the church duties, and I’ll spend the day with you. We’ll need to buy the futon and visit the college, talk to them about what you need to re-enroll. Visit Jericho, find out more information about this support group.” I stood and listed the items on my fingers, and he watched me carefully, not taking his gaze off me. “Yes, very big day. I think I’ll go shower. Will you be okay?”
“Of course. I need to check the fridge to see what I can cook for breakfast tomorrow.”
My heart ached. As strange as it sounded, he reminded me a lot of my mamma. She loved to cook and care for her family, and when my father was alive, she’d always pretended to be a submissive wife to him, but when push came to shove, she was a bear protecting us. No one would get anywhere near us with ill intent if she had anything to say about it.
I left him on the couch and went to the bedroom to grab my pajamas before walking straight to the bathroom. There was a clatter in the kitchen, and it sounded like he was doing some more cleaning.
I closed the door and stripped my clothes as quickly as I could. I didn’t know when I’d gotten so hard, but my cock throbbed, pushing at my briefs and bouncing free when I tugged the fabric down. Hopping into the shower, I closed the door behind myself, then started the spray. Cold water pounded down on me and slowly warmed, but nothing could make my hard-on dwindle—well, nothing except jerking off.
I leaned my head against the cool gray tiles and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. My balls ached and heat hit my skin, but I also felt hot on the inside. I needed to get off and quickly, or I would explode.
I wrapped my fist around my hard cock and cursed. I was happy to help Phoenix, but he’d brought this predicament I had to now deal with, something I felt dirty about. There was no way I should be stroking myself to thoughts of him, especially after everything he’d been through, but I was doing exactly that. And worse, I was imagining what I would’ve done to him before my time at the seminary.
I’d been hungry for any and all things sexual, and if I’d met Phoenix back then, I would’ve done a lot of dirty things to him. First, I would make him beg for it, stick my fingers into the back of his throat until he was gagging and asking for something bigger. Then, I would fuck his mouth with my cock, much like I had today, but rougher. I would’ve never given him the chance to breathe, just bred his throat until my balls were empty—and he would take it because Phoenix was all about pleasing his Daddy. He would stare up at me with those wide eyes, shirtless with his slim muscles shining with sweat, as I drove my load into his belly, like I was trying to impregnate him from the throat.
Then the old me would’ve grabbed him and thrown him on the bed, driven his legs apart, and eaten his asshole. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done because I loved to make a meal of a good ass.
My fist jerked faster on my cock as I imagined him whining and pleading as I dug my tongue into his hole, stretching him and getting him ready. I thought about his erection, caught between his belly and the bed.
I groaned and humped my hips forward as my balls drew tighter. The hot water sluiced down my shoulders and along my back, but it was the perfect temperature. I was so close it hurt.
The old me wasn’t done, though. No. I would’ve taken my time stretching Phoenix before grabbing the lube and coating my cock. I would’ve lined up with Phoenix’s ass and driven deep into the nice warm hole. Everything would disappear with nothing but the pressure of a willing body and my tight balls to keep me company. And when I’d plastered my chest to his back, I would’ve thrust into him hard and fast, with the only goal being to get off inside him until he was leaking with my cum.
Oh, holy Jesus.
I shuddered as my moment hit, spunk splattering against the shower tiles. Groaning, my hips thrust, and the last remnants of my orgasm had me collapsing against the wall.
I slapped my hand beside my head and moaned. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d jerked off like that. Not since... well, before.
And I felt like a traitor. I’d told Phoenix I couldn’t give him what he wanted, and here I was, getting off to the thought of him. I deserved to go to Hell.
* * *
The next morningI woke to Phoenix already dressed for the day and on his knees again. I didn’t have the energy to tell him not to do it, but I didn’t need to because he passed me a cup of hot coffee and I was too busy slurping the life-giving brew.
“Do you need help, Daddy?” he asked, nodding at my lap.
“No, thank you,” I said simply with a smile. It was no use explaining it to him anymore. He was too sweet, and his ex-Daddy had taken his people-pleasing personality and warped it to his own needs. I hated his ex more than anything.
“How about we get started for the day?”
“What about breakfast?” He brushed a hand through his hair, which was wilder today, as if he hadn’t tried to look nice for me. I liked that he seemed to be settling in.
“We’ll get something on the way. Can I have the room to myself for a few minutes?”
