Maybe I was just worried about too many things right now and all those doubts were springing to life—the ones that told me this had to end sometime, probably horribly, with me getting hurt and left alone. I clutched Rowen’s hand too hard.
Once the idea of seeing Lor took hold of me, I felt possessed, and also like an awful person. I’d let him slip from my mind while I what? Fucked Fallon? Came with Rowan in an SUV? Granted, I’d had a hell of an afternoon myself, but I hadn’t beenshot. No, that dubious pleasure had been reserved for Lor.
“Look at me going on.” The woman laughed and grinned at me now. “He’s right this way, Dr. Mifflin.” I was stunned for a second, but as she led us along I realized she was a nurse who had seen me multiple times in the ER. I thought maybe she liked me because she kept sending me extra-warm smiles that made my cheeks heat.
“I’m just terrible with names, but I remember your face. Thank you for helping me.”
“Of course!” Her smile cranked up a notch, and I wanted to slap my forehead but held off because Rowen had one of my hands and the other was busy clasping Aspen’s arm. I was feeling out of sorts in so many different ways that they were the only things keeping me together right now. She gestured me into a room on our right, more white walls and white tiles and white bedding, and I came to a stop just inside the door, nearly knocking over Rowen. Aspen put a hand on my shoulder to steady me.
Lor lay on the bed looking slim and small. His eyes were closed. Face pale. His black hair seemed even darker and more wild than usual, and the bleached stripe in the middle upset me a bit for some reason. I didn’t mind the dye job, it just made him seem even more ghostly, like he had one foot in the grave and the other in the air. The only thing that kept me from fully melting down was the fact he didn’t seem to be connected to too many machines, only a heart monitor and an IV.
“Oh, he’s all alone,” I whispered and rushed forward. “Why isn’t anyone here with him?” I stared at an empty chair on the other side of the bed, as if maybe someone would materialize there if I looked long enough. My heart gave a strange pang. “I didn’t appreciate you as much as you deserved when you were helping me all the time, and now....” My eyes burned and I could tell I hadn’t had enough sleep in the last few days. I was more emotional than usual, but I really hated seeing his body under the white hospital blankets.
Fumbling, I reached down and cupped his hand between mine. Rowen came to stand at my elbow as I brushed Lor’s hair back from his forehead. I’d expected his skin to be clammy, but it was the right temperature, and he felt like a living, breathing person. I relaxed a little but couldn’t stop worrying as I glanced at the machines to assure myself his insides were doing everything they should.
“He looks so young,” I murmured.
Rowen grunted. I glanced over and stared for a second. The overhead lights were dimmed, but there was a light above a small sink tucked in a corner and it caught in his hair and made it gleam like fire. “Aye, he does. He looks familiar, too.”
“Probably because he’s my assistant.”
“I know who he is and that’s not what I meant.” Confusion marred his brow as he studied Lor, and I wanted to be interested but didn’t feel like I had the energy for another mystery right now. All in all, the level of exhaustion dragging me down was a completely unique experience, one I didn’t necessarily hate.
Aspen rested his arm across my shoulders, a solid, comforting weight. “I think I know what you mean, Ro.”
I squeezed Lor’s hand. “I’m so sorry I got you into this mess. You’re just another victim of my poor choices.”
“Hey now, I’m one of those,” Rowen said, jostling me, and Aspen snickered.
They continued to tickle and tease me out of the tears that wanted to pour down my face, and I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my forearm.
Lor’s eyelashes fluttered and my heart leaped. He tightened his fingers on my hand. “Dr. Mifflin? My mouth is dry. Can you... water?”
Aspen responded faster than I did, and as Lor blinked his eyes open, Aspen held out an insulated water mug to Lor that he’d grabbed from a nearby tray table. A straw poked out of the hole in the top. Lor was able to take the mug and hold it while he drank as if he’d been wandering the Sahara for months. When he was done, Aspen took the mug back while Lor groaned and settled against the bed like he’d survived a monumental ordeal—which he had, though drinking water wasn’t it.
“The police are searching for you,” he said, his voice sounding closer to normal. He danced his gaze around my face. “They were here twice already.”
My stomach sank. I’d hated talking to the police the last time. “What? Why?”
“You were missing from the scene where someone wasshot. Other people saw you being forced into a car. Everyone is worried.” Lor cleared his throat and stared at me some more. His eyes widened. “And they were right to be. You’re hurt.” He frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“You’resorry?”
He shrugged and scrabbled at his blanket, and Rowen leaned in and tugged it higher on his chest. Lor gave him a tiny smile in thanks. “I was supposed to keep you from getting into trouble. I tried. I did everything I could. Even things....” He glanced away, cheeks curiously red. “Some things maybe I shouldn’t have. Your apartment.... It was—”
“It’s my fault I always forget to lock the door.”
Lor cringed and glanced at me, and Rowen made a tinytuttingsound, but I was too angry at the implications of what Lor was saying to stop and ask what was bothering Rowen.
“You’re half my age,” I growled out. “Who gave you the idea that you were responsible for me?”
“Dr. Atmeyer.”
My rage simmered and I bent down to press a kiss to Lor’s forehead. I felt very paternal as I leaned back and shook my head. “I have my problems, but he never should have put that on you. Is that why you spent so much of your free time helping me?”
He nestled back against his pillow. “No. You’re a good guy, Dr. Mifflin. I like you. I mean, I wanted the credits, but I enjoyed being your human alarm clock.” He gave me a sweet smile, and I suspected some of his good mood might be driven by pain medication. After a few seconds, he frowned and rubbed at his forehead. “Why did you kiss me?”
“You took a bullet for me. I owe you my life.”
