“Rowen,” he greeted, when I made my way to the top of the steps and stopped in front of him.
“Father.” I bowed my head slightly, my breath leaving my mouth sharply. “I’m sorry it’s late, but I need God to hear me sins. It can’t wait.”
Father Shay rested his hand on my shoulder and guided me inside. The familiar pews came into sight, and I stared at the altar in front of the apse. To the left were the carved dark-wood confessionals.
“Shall we?” he asked quietly when he moved beside me.
I nodded and let him lead me toward the booths; I took the one on the right while he opened the door in the middle and sat down. Inside I kneeled on the short, uncomfortable bench in front of a grated window and placed my hands together in prayer. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” I whispered, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Worry and guilt swirled inside my gut and anxiety ate away at my lungs. I hated how much I enjoyed torturing someone. I wasn’t Cillian, and my faith made the guilt worse. I’d often wondered if I was evil, but being here, asking for forgiveness, always calmed my concern. “It’s been a week since me last confession.”
“Confess your sins, my son.” Father Shay’s voice was soothing and gentle, with a deep masculinity that washed away the remaining worry. “And together we’ll ask God for forgiveness.”
I thought about Reed and the way he’d screamed, blood flying across the floor with every punch Cillian smashed into him. Then Aspen with his knives, throwing them into the wall beside Reed’s head and slicing the blade across his chest. Then me, and the way I pounded his stomach with my fists and the bat until more blood spurted from his mouth.
“We tortured a man tonight for the boss.” I let out a breath and kept my eyes closed. “He stole the boss’s product and Sloan asked us to deal with him. We waterboarded him to begin with, before Cillian and I beat him. Aspen cut him up real good.” I pressed the tip of my prayer hands to my lips and the taste of Reed’s blood caught in my throat. “We haven’t killed him yet, but we will.”
Father Shay stayed silent for a few seconds before he sighed. “You know the Ten Commandments, child. You know that thou shalt not kill.”
“I know, Father, but Sloan is me boss.”
“And God isyourFather, and his word is final.” Shay’s voice softened. “But together we shall ask for forgiveness for your sins, and if this is all you’d like to confess, I will ask you to speak the Act of Contrition to me so we pardon you of your sins.”
I opened my eyes for only a moment before I shut them again. Cillian would’ve laughed if he saw me in the confessional, but he’d never believed like I did. “Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended ye.” I huffed out another breath and rambled through the full prayer, barely hearing my own words.
“And now I will speak the Prayer of Absolution.” He paused for a moment, and even though I couldn’t see him well through the grate, I felt comforted that he was there on the other side. “God, the Father of Mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the church, may God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son.”
I tapped the cross over my body the same way I assumed he was doing as he spoke.
“And of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen,” I whispered. “Thank ye for listening to me sins and for the prayer, Father Shay.”
“You are welcome here anytime, Rowen. God always hears your prayers.”
I rose, my knees hurting, and left the confessional. Father Shay met me outside and smiled at me, laying a hand on my shoulder.
“I know what Sloan’s like, Rowen,” he said, eyes going gentle with admiration. Even though he was a hardarse, we all looked up to Sloan, even Father Shay. “But try to be pure for God.”
I nodded in thanks, and we said a few quiet words before I left. The air was warm, but I was cold inside. I tugged my suit jacket tighter and headed for the Expedition, which Cillian had running in front of the church.
I offered Cillian a smile when I slid back in next to him. “Done. Thanks.”
He grunted in the way he always did when he didn’t want to acknowledge a thank-you. He’d learned that from his da. “Didn’t take ye long. Confess yer sins, did ye?”
“Yeah, and I realized something.” I grinned at him. “We should go home. We have our own version of heaven waiting for us.”
He laughed. “Aye, that we do.”
“What do ye think about him? Vail....” Just saying his name was a pleasure. I stared out toward the road. It would be a good hour-and-a-half drive home, and it was already nearing eleven at night. Every so often a set of headlights would pass us, but the majority of the city was tucked away asleep safe in their homes. Not us. We worked all hours, whenever Sloan needed us.
“He’s got a nice arse on him.”
I exhaled. “I want to keep him, Cillian.”
“A nice arse doesn’t warrant a relationship,Rowen.” He slapped the steering wheel and glanced at me. “Ye’ve always moved too fast. Sex is sex.”
“Ye’ve never moved past the sex,” I bit back. “Ye don’t take anyone seriously. Ye’re too busy fucking one person after another with Aspen.”
“Do ye blame me?” He ran a hand over his head and concentrated on the road. “Relationships are too much effort, and how do ye think Vail will react when he finds out who we work for? It’s too dangerous. He shouldn’t even be in our house. Sloan would be furious if he found out.”
