“Zayden” was all I said, then my mind blanked. I stood there in a daze.
“You’re the best friend.”
Embarrassment stuck my tongue to the roof of my mouth; however, it was satisfying to nod because at some point on Z’s date with Wayne, while in his sexy swim shorts, he had chosen to talk aboutme. I rubbed at my heart.
“Well, now I’m Zayden’sboyfriend.”
Wayne’s smile fell a bit but didn’t drop off his face. “Congratulations.” He waved the cigar at me in a “continue” gesture.
I let out a long, shaky breath. “I have no idea about the…. Okay, you probably already know, if you were on a date with him and Nicky was involved. Z wants a Daddy. I don’t know what that means, but I really want to make sure he gets what he needs. I want him happy.” I ran a hand through my hair and wished a hole would open up under my feet.
“There’s only one person you need to sit down with for answers to that question. You know that, right?”
“No….”
Wayne puffed on his cigar and his eyebrows rose.
“No, I don’t know,” I grumped at him.
He turned and blew a stream of smoke away from me. “Zayden. You need to talk to him. Read his responses to questions. Ask him lots of questions. Being a Daddy is a process or an experience. It isn’t the same one month to the next, or sometimes even one minute to the next. Being a kinky couple is like being any other type of couple. You grow together.”
Not having a solid answer drove me crazy. I kicked at the wall again. “Z says we can do what we want, or at least, that’s the impression he gave me, but isn’t there usually whips and chains and stuff?”
Wayne chuckled. “Therecanbe. Most people who want a Daddy, or think they do, really want constant discipline and comfort. If you’re a sub, a good chunk of the draw toward that lifestyle is your Daddy can’t decide to stop loving you over your behavior for one day. Not like a regular, straight-edge boyfriend can.”
I rubbed at my face, and that only made Wayne give me a questioning little grunt.
“Z’s dad did. His real dad, I mean. He was awful. Hurt him. Is he looking for a replacement? I….” The implications unraveled in my mind, but before I could get too sucked into analyzing everything, Wayne knocked a hand against my shoulder.
“Fuck that. You ever hear the saying blood is thicker than water?” He leaned his shoulder on the wall, and some of the stress that had been eating me disappeared in the face of his calmness.
“Yeah, doesn’t it mean family is important?”
Wayne offered me his cigar, and I shook my head. He shrugged and puffed it as if thinking. “The whole saying is, ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ More or less it means the people and things we choose to commit ourselves to are more important than anything else. That’s where our fire is. Our passion.”
“That’s very philosophical.”
He shrugged and chuckled. “From what he said to me, it sounds like that boy chose you a long time ago. And when that happened, you were both kids, right? Or just about. I doubt he was looking for a parent replacement in you. And hell, even if he was, what a boy is really searching for is that unshakable faith that someone will do right by him. Keep their word. Give him support.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling like I could finally breathe again for the first time since we stepped out into the sunshine. “I can do those things.”
“I can’t tell you how to be Zayden’s Daddy, and anyone who claims he can is a liar, but I’ll say this. Talk to him. If you find out he’s into a kink that could be dangerous if handled incorrectly, call me.”
My heart raced as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I hadn’t considered that,” I said faintly, and he only grinned. I stuttered over giving him my number and had to confirm it twice before a text from him reached my phone.
“Dangerous,” I said faintly. “God, I hope he doesn’t like anything dangerous.”
“All Daddies are responsible for the safety of their boys. That’s maybe the one universal rule, I guess.” Wayne patted my cheek, and I got the feeling that, like Nicky, he thought I was in over my head. At least I had a starting point now, though.
Groaning, I tucked my phone back into my pocket. “I was hoping for a step-by-step guide or something.”
“I could always fuck him while you watch, and you can take notes, if it’s that bad.” He smirked.
“No,” I rushed to say, and he tossed his head back in a hearty laugh. “Thank you for… not taking advantage of him.”
“No thanks needed,” he said and held out his hand.
We shook and it felt good. I didn’t have many friends I saw regularly outside of Z, and this had been nice. He headed back inside with a small salute, trailing smoke in his wake, so I guessed no one in there was about to complain about the cigar.
