“What did you want to know? Unless I missed a page or two in the elaborate and detailed history of Fern Darrow as performatively told by Zayden Shoemaker, you’re not gay? Or you weren’t gay? Whatever.” He waved his hand as if the point didn’t matter much.
I let out a long breath. “I don’t know what I’d call myself. Bi, I guess. But I’m Z’s.” Using all my nonexistent mental powers, I willed him to understand.
“His what?” Nicky asked.
“His… just his.”
Nicky gave me the kind of smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and his nose. He let out a squeal that shocked five years off my life and threw his arms around me. He was all glitter and muscles and friendliness, and I found myself laughing as I gave him a squeeze back. “That is so sweet.”
“Please, I know you’re really open, but maybe you could… keep this between us for the moment? Until Zayden tells you it’s okay to make it general knowledge. It’s new for me, and I’m not sure how he’s feeling about it.”
“Pfft. That boy is going to tell everyone. And yes, I am open—” Nicky smacked my back where his hands were still around me. “—but if you’d fought as hard as I have to make space for myself in this nasty world, you would be, too. Coming out won’t be a thing for you. It just won’t.”
“I don’t know,” I said, embarrassed heat working through me again to burn my skin all the way from the top of my head to my toes this time. “It might be.”
Nicky rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’ll have assholes to deal with, but you’ve got a lot of privilege. It’s true. I don’t have anything against anyone, but when I first came out, I caught bullshit coming and going—literally.” He stepped back and patted my chest. “You wouldn’t believe how two-faced some people on the down-low can be.” He pursed his lips and shook his head. “I decided loud and proud it was, for me. I’d chase off people who wanted to hide.”
“Okay, but the thing I want to ask you, can you keep it to yourself? Remember how we were talking about not hurting Z?” My jaw ticked and I rubbed at the back of my neck.
He drew anXover his heart. “Swear, cupcake. On my honor.”
“Do you know who I can ask about—” I leaned closer despite the loud music and uproar that would probably have kept anyone from overhearing us. “—being a Daddy to Z?”
Nicky bit his lip, but that didn’t last long. He dissolved into a fit of laughter. “I think… stay here.” He smacked my stomach with the back of his hand as if to tell me to stay put and moved away across the room. My heart froze as I watched him go, horrified he might be off to tell Zayden what I’d asked him.
He came back with a familiar tall, good-looking man. Wayne still had his shirt tucked in his back pocket, and I almost swallowed my tongue at the up-close view of the ripples of his abs. I shot a look at his face and swift jealousy had me scowling. He’d taken Z swimming and had gotten to see him in his clingy wet shorts.
“Hello,” I grumbled.
“Go ahead,” Nicky said. “Put on your brave face. Ask.”
Embarrassment sealed my mouth shut. Like hell I wanted to ask some man who’d taken Z out on a date how I should treat him. That burned on so many different levels. I began to shake my head, but Nicky reached up and flicked my ear. I hissed and rubbed at the sting.
“Ask. Him.”
“Could I maybe have some privacy?” I growled out.
“This is a bar,” Nicky said with a laugh. “There’s no such thing.”
Wayne chuckled, and I found myself glaring between both of them.
Nicky patted my arm, then somehow managed to balance three pitchers of beer that were set on the bar in front of him. He swung around toward the tables and got a round of applause. A couple of guys jumped up to help him, and Daryl followed at a sedate pace with glasses.
Wayne rested a hand on my shoulder, and all at once I felt nervous enough that I worried about decorating our shoes with whatever was in my stomach. He slid in beside me and stretched his arm across my shoulders, lips twitching into an amused smile.
“Come on. Whatever’s in that head of yours, it’ll be okay.”
Shoving Wayne off seemed like a good idea, but then he might not talk to me, so I let him lead me to the exit. Once we were outside, he moved over against the front wall of the building and leaned his back against the sun-warmed wood. I did the same thing. Wayne took a cardboard tube from the back pocket of his shorts and shook out a cigar. I watched him as he chomped the thick stick between his teeth, then yanked out a lighter. He gave me a wink as he lit up.
The sweet-smelling puff of smoke he blew out carried a hint of cherry. “This is supposed to be for when we win, but the way this season’s been going, I give.” He held out the cigar and inspected it, the corner of his mouth kicking up. “Brad’s going to yell at me and say I jinxed us if he sees.” He chuckled as if he couldn’t wait for that very moment and sucked on the cigar again.
“I think everyone inside is winning.”
“Me too,” he said with a friendly smile.
Kicking my foot back against the wall until there was a loudthunk, I shifted toward Wayne.
“Why did Nicky ask me to talk to you? Or more specifically, he said I needed to give you the ‘the talk.’ ” He raised his silver eyebrows in my direction. “Tell me it isn’t that bad, straight boy.”
