“I’m sorry,” I whispered, surprised the words actually made it out of my mouth. The anger began to dwindle, and instead there was misery. My eyes stung with tears. “I don’t want you to come near me but, Daddy, I’m sorry.”
He smiled sadly, eyes duller than usual and face pale. “I know, boy. It’s going to be okay. If you don’t want me near you, then I’ll stay right here until you’re ready to talk. I won’t go anywhere, Max. I’m your Daddy, and I’m here for you.”
“Is… Vic coming here?” I asked. I was still angry at JP, but I wasn’t sure I wanted another Dom in our space. This house was ours now, and the fear that JP would palm me off to another man made me sick to the stomach. “I don’t want to leave.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” he whispered gently. “Daddy has you. I just need a little help, and Vic has been on the scene a lot longer than me. He’s seen things I haven’t.”
My shoulders trembled harder and I folded in on myself as sickness lodged in my gut. “I’m such a failure.”
“You’re not, boy.”
“I am.” I shot a look at him, my bottom lip pouting out. “Mom was right. I’m useless. Stupid. I should never have been a Kalinski.”
“That’s bullshit.” The harshness of his voice made me jump, and he winced in apology. “Your mother is a horrible person, Max. She should have never been a mother. Not to your brothers and sister, and not to you. Your father is no better. He’s a spineless rat looking for scraps from his bitch wife.”
I couldn’t help but smile then and bit my lip. “Yeah, that describes him well.”
“Don’t you ever listen to a word they say.”
Part of me wanted him to move, to come closer to me, but he didn’t, and I was half grateful and half sad. He was doing as I’d asked, and I hated that I had lost control of my mind. “Tell me about sub drops.”
He folded his legs under his body until he was sitting crossed-legged, his hands on his knees like he was meditating, but he didn’t close his eyes. He focused on me, and a sick part of me reveled in his attention. “They’re different for everyone. I’ve had… boys drop before, but not like this.”
“Is there something wrong with me?” I held my legs tighter, completely aware of my nudity and not caring.
He smiled gently. “No, boy, there’s nothing wrong with you. Sub drops work differently for everyone. I’ve heard stories of subs dropping and not recovering for three weeks.”
“Why?” I could barely hear my voice, and I wondered if he heard what I said, but he clearly had because his brows furrowed in thought. The fire whooshed in the grate near us, keeping the room warm, and it was actually relaxing. I had no idea why I’d gotten so upset about it.
“When you do a scene, your adrenaline peaks, and so do your hormones. You’re having a high, but once you reach a high, the only way to go is back down.” He licked his lips and sighed. “I’m sorry. I thought I gave you the proper aftercare you needed.”
“I liked what we did, a lot.” I pressed my mouth against my knees.
“Me too, boy.”
We sat there for about forty-five minutes, jumping from complete silence to short conversation about random topics, until finally the doorbell rang. JP scrambled to his feet and held out a hand to me.
“Can you stay here for me?”
I nodded, still filled with a deeply seated sadness, but at least I wasn’t angry.
“Can I put this over you?” He reached for the blanket on the couch, and I nodded again, not trusting myself with words. He inched closer to me, taking each step carefully until he was close enough to throw the blanket over my back and wrap it around my chest. I noticed he made sure he didn’t touch me, and my heart hurt for how I’d made him feel.
I opened my mouth to apologize again, but he’d turned to walk out of the room. I waited, my breath caught in my throat. I didn’t just hear Vic’s voice, but a new one as well. My eyes widened and I held the blanket around me more tightly, shame making my cheeks flush at the thought of not only being naked in front of a stranger, but having amoment, too.
Vic came striding through the doorway, determination in his step as he entered, and I sucked in a deep breath at the young man who followed him in. Beautiful wasn’t even a word I could use to describe him. He was more than that; he was godlike, the epitome of perfect with the roundest cheeks I’d ever seen and a glimmering smile. It was obvious he had on lip gloss, but the sparkling on his face told me he also had some kind of glitter dusted across his creamy skin. His styled brown hair had the same kind of dazzle in it.
Vic stopped halfway across the room to me, crouching to one knee. “Hey there, Maxie.”
I smiled. He’d given me that nickname when I started living with him, and I’d liked it because it felt like we were actual friends. Vic was one of the nicest people I’d met, and he’d shared information with me about club Triple X and the BDSM lifestyle during the times we’d sat in front of his TV to watch Netflix. Most of the time, though, we’d worked during different parts of the day and passed each other with a quick “hello,” so I’d enjoyed the moments where we actually talked.
“Hey, Vic.”
“How are you feeling?” His voice always held command, even when he was being gentle, which was strange for Vic. While he was a soft person, like marshmallow on the inside, he was truly a strict Dom from what I’d seen.
“I was angry earlier. Now I’m just… upset.” I glanced at JP over Vic’s shoulder and blanched. The heartbroken expression only made me feel worse. I pointed at the stranger. “Who’s that?”
The stranger gave me a wide smile, straight white teeth flashing as he shifted closer than Vic did. “Aren’t you just the most cutest thing ever? I get called many things, but I prefer either my stage name, Sugar, or my real name, Cassidy.”
