Eventually I sat back to give him another drink of water, and he mewled happily when I laid him back down again and tucked the blankets around his shoulders.
“I’m such a lucky Daddy, Max.”
“Lucky too, Daddy. Thank you. Love you,” he mumbled, and my heart stopped. I’d just fucked him into oblivion—of course he said he loved me. Hell, I’d love me, too, if I’d done that. Serious or not, I couldn’t help but smile at his words as a strange rush of emotions wrapped themselves around my heart.
I’m so lucky.
18
Max
Ididn’t know how long I’d slept, but when I woke up, I felt… strange. The high of JP drawing my orgasms out of me had long since gone and my body was sore. No, sore wasn’t the right word. I felt like I’d run a hundred miles, and my legs and arms burned. Every movement made me wince and it was hard to breathe. Forcing myself to sit up took more energy than I felt like I had.
“Daddy?” I whispered into the empty room.
There was the sound of feet thumping on the wooden floorboards, and then JP shot into my line of sight. He wore his favorite pair of pajama pants, the blue ones I loved as well, and a plain white T-shirt. With a bottle of water in his hand, he approached me with a gentle smile.
“You took long enough. Welcome back. Here.”
He went to his knees in front of me and unscrewed the lid from the bottle, putting it to my lips. I drank carefully, so as not to spill any of the water on the couch. The liquid was lukewarm against my lips and tongue, and the logical part of my brain told me that cold water would only be a shock to my system after such intense play. It was common sense.
“How do you feel?” He tipped the bottle slightly again, and after my next few sips, he took it from me and screwed on the lid before placing it on the floor next to the couch.
“Sore.” I licked the water from my lips and stared around the room, dark except for the flames flickering in the fireplace. The natural warmth should have been comforting, but instead a nonsensical frustration stirred up inside me. “Did you leave that on while I was sleeping by myself?”
JP frowned, his gaze traveling to the fire. “Yes. I was only in the kitchen for a minute.”
“But you left it on?” Anger swirled in my gut, and it was like watching a train coming straight for me with my foot stuck in the tracks. My rage was irrational. Objectively I knew that I was being awful, but there was nothing I could do to stop it, and I could only listen as my mouth moved. “You endangered my life!”
I shoved his chest, and because he wasn’t prepared for it, he fell back onto his ass on the floor as I stumbled to stand. I nearly tripped over the ottoman but managed to catch myself.
JP watched me, a knowing expression passing through his eyes. “Max—”
“So, I’m not your boy anymore?” I snorted and stared down at my naked body, not as defined as his, with a bit of hair between my pecs. Nothing amazing. It never quite made sense to me why JP, handsome as he was, would be interested in me. “Funny how quickly that changed. Was it the head shrink? Youtoldme you wanted me to go.”
“Max, enough.” Even though the words held an order, his voice was soft and calm as he forced himself to his feet. “Boy, listen to me. Have you ever heard of sub drop?”
“Don’t.” I held up my hand to him. “Don’t blame this on me. Do you not understand how you could have killed me?” Waving my hand at the fireplace, I glared. “That thing is dangerous when I’m sleeping. I can’t keep an eye on it.”
He stepped forward, but I matched his movements by shifting backward. This whole thing was ludicrous. I didn’t understand the anger that raged inside me, and I couldn’t stop it, either. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, just like he’d told me it was okay to do, and then ask him to forgive me, but my tongue felt heavy.
“Sub drop is when a submissive reaches a high during an intense scene, and then, anywhere from an hour to twenty-four hours later, they can start experiencing what we call a drop.”
“I know what it is!” I pressed my back against the wall. He didn’t come any closer, and I wanted to thank him for that, but the anger battering at the rational part of my brain won. The truth was that I’d never heard of sub drop in my life. “I’m not stupid.”
“I never said that. You’re incredibly smart, Max, one of the most intelligent people I know.” He held his hands out to me, like he was trying to tame a wild beast, and I realized that’s how I was acting. “People react to sub drops differently. Some are just sad, some are angry like you are now.”
“Subs aren’t weak.” I crossed my arms, regret swirling inside me alongside the unexplainable anger.
JP shook his head. “No, they aren’t. You aren’t. Doms have drops, too.” He went to take a step forward, and I narrowed my eyes at him, making him stop again. “I just want to take care of you. The first drop is always the hardest. Let me give you the attention you deserve. Let your Daddy cuddle you through this.”
“No.” My shoulders shook and I held myself tighter, trying to stave off the need to get away from him. This was stupid, but why couldn’t my body see that? Why was my brain not cooperating the way I wanted it to? “I don’t want you near me. I want….”
I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face in them.Fuck, what did I want?I didn’t know. Confusion plagued me and I hated feeling so lost. I didn’t understand how this was happening. The sex had been amazing, and I’d wanted more, fell asleep thinking about how much I wanted to fuck Daddy again, maybe come inside him if I could get over the idea of the mess. How was I so angry at him?
There was a noise, and I looked up to see him leave the room and then come back almost immediately with his cell phone in hand. He tapped the screen and then held it to his ear. I watched, unable to glance away, but also unable to let him near me. The fury was like a virus and I couldn’t get rid of it.
“Vic?” JP’s voice wavered in uncertainty and guilt gnawed at me. I didn’t want to upset him like this. “I need help. Please. It’s Max. I think he’s going through a rough drop and I’ve never seen one like this.” A pause. “Thank you. I’ll see you soon.” He ended the call then and fell to his ass on the floor, not too close to me, but not too far away.
